What a mess!!

kevin o connor

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This might sound harsh but to be honest you married your wife and not her family. When she became your wife she started a new family and while that does not mean she has to give up her old family she is no longer responsible for them. Of course we all try to help out when things go bad for anybody but your own family have to come first ! At this stage you and your wife need to get your own family needs back to your number one concern. If she does go to a refuge for battered wives they will help her, and they have the experience to deal with the situation ! Time to sit down with your wife and have a heart to heart !
 

Wise Owl

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Tell yer wife she Tried it on with ya she will be down the road faster than Ernie the Milkman (y)(y)
 

Chervil

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Sounds like you've done more than enough. She's in a touring caravan, she has a little too much to drink. passes out, wakes up somewhere, many miles away, with a lovely view. Sorted.
 

Scribe

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Strewth Mate,

Sounds like you and your wife, have been put through the mill with this. What happens now Winter is coming on, guaranteed your SIL will be angling to move into the house, with her dogs. Has she made any effort to find a job or re-train ? Has she made any effort since March to work towards moving out and supporting herself, If not then you have no choice, but to cut her loose. As @Yosemite Sam said first the dogs go to the RSPCA they are her responsibility not yours and if she can't provide for them they have to go.

As difficult as it is, the time to bite the bullet and speak to your wife has arrived. Helping family and friends out in difficult times was the right thing to do, but being taken advantage of isn't. You wouldn't let your kids get away with it, so she shouldn't either. I don't know how old she is, but it's time to grow up and make her own way in the world.

Can talk more on Sunday - a day on the Trent will do you the power of good.

Take care

Kevin
 

Blanks

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SIL needs to take responsabilty for her own life starting first thing monday morning.
The council will not step in unless she is homeless. Why not take the caravan to a paying site where she will get in financial trouble and be evicted, she will then be homeless and qualify for council housing.
 

Yorkieboy70

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My ex wife was put in emergency council property when we sold our house she has mental health issues. Would it be worth telling the council that you are selling the caravan on such a date and she will need emergency accommodation.
 

Arch

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It's difficult guys. It's family, you try to do your best for all involved.

You would think she would want out after six months living in a caravan, she'd want something more permanent. I have very little conversation with her, and what I do is awkward. You can't reason with her, she is always right.

As far as I'm aware, she has been classed as homeless and has a person from the council dealing with her situation. She was supposed to be being put on the housing list. Not sure if that has happened yet.

Having never had to deal with anything like this before, it's all new. She might be spinning us a tale, I don't know.
 

Wise Owl

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Hope for a very cold winter and she might be tempted to get a private flat or summat 👍
 

Yosemite Sam

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I assume she uses your bathroom to shower and such, perhaps even eat in with you as well. As the nights draw in, and get colder, wetter, she will hang around inside for longer until it’s bedtime. In the hope that your wife eventually says she can stay inside the house. That is then the point of no return. You will then struggle to get rid of her, and she may then not be classed as homeless.
 

Arch

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She eats with us, but uses the caravan for everything else. The caravan is old, but is perfectly usable. I'd imagine it'll require some maintenance aand a good clean when/if she goes. The awning is starting to look worse for ware.

We'll see what today brings..........
 

dry nets

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Unfortunately you can pick your friends but not your family

I’d tow the caravan and dump it with her inside
 

tipitinmick

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Very, very sorry to hear of your predicament Arch. Very sorry indeed. I hope you don’t mind but, I showed your post to my missus to get a woman’s perspective on it. My missus said that if any of her sisters ( she has two ) fell on hard times then firstly WE would have to agree for her to come and stay and for how long. There would be a cut off point. Adults are adults it’s up to your sil to sort herself out. I think you need to decide a date with your wife as to when you both want her to leave. It’s already been said but, if she manages to get inside your house for the winter that will be it. My fear Arch is that it plays havoc with your own relationship. You do not want that. You could always fit a lockable remote 100A DP switch and switch the power off when you and your missus are at work. Or Is that being a bit too nasty ?

Move Wise Owl into your caravan with her Arch. That’ll shift her. Would you spend a night in a caravan with Wise Owl ? No, neither would I. 😂😂.

Seriously though mate. I hope you get sorted soon. 👍

Mick.
 

Arch

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Thanks for the replies and PMs guys, I'll act on them. (y)

I like to think I'm a decent bloke. I try to be an honorable man and do the right thing. If I say I'll do something, I'll do it and I'd try to help anyone out If I can.

I don't like conflict, and try to bite my lip as much as possible. But last night I couldn't any longer. Now we have to deal with an atmosphere because she can't see reason. She has an uncanny knack of making you feel like you're in the wrong.

Anyway, enough now and thanks,

Arch.
 

SeanB

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There should be a domestic abuse service that can help. I've had dealings with our local one, DVAP, and they have arranged for victims to be accommodated in safe houses until permanent a property is found.
 

Maesknoll

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Are there any legal implications to having someone living on your property, albeit in a caravan - insurance? Would it be classed as a dwelling for planning or council tax? Could be another lever, as it sounds as if you have the patience of a saint.......
 
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