The year 2020

Stumbler

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Apr 18, 2008
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it’s like walking on the deck on the Marie Celeste not a soul around, no kids at the school or nursery, my humble road has metamorphosed from the M25 for young mother’s in their Chelsea tractors to a country dirt track where the foxes and badgers roam for food. There’s no smells emanating from the local chippie and the Chinese take-a-ways, no fights or stabbings outside the pub.

The blue rinse brigade are no longer queuing at the hair salon for their fortnightly touch up, the queue at the pharmacy for medication seems to stretch for miles (the clever ones switch their repeat prescription’s to postal delivery), guess who has switched? The corner shop has plenty of milk, bread, eggs but don’t tell the silly b****rs queuing 2m apart at Tesco and if you pick a market day afternoon with an Aldi or Lidl in the square you can walk around the store and buy everything you want with ease.

Then there’s public transport the buses and trains are all empty, no taxi’s cutting you up, driving is now like it used to be 60 years ago. No plane’s in the sky with passengers singing viva espana, the oil price has sunk to rock bottom. Those crazy Iranian’s have taken up drinking methanol in the belief it cures coronavirus, so far 300 have died of poisoning, I hear Trump is shipping 10 million gallons this week.

My theory is Greta Thunberg is behind it all, it’s just so peaceful, no pollution, and no global warming from all those fossil fuel devices now laid up. To top it all Boris is in isolation, just need Trump to join him.

The Chinese have found heaven for all of us.
 
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