The story of a NOOB - help and advice needed please

MunchMyStump

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As i said earlier I am doing a service to society by keeping Mrs Munch away from some other poor soul(s). She believes that the heart is just a muscle and by either hiding and jumping out on me when I least suspect it or putting her frozen cold hands on me makes my heart stronger! Just yesterday she tried to feed my anus frozen peas whilst making Sunday / Monday Lunch... :eek: Somehow In her mind this is good for me and I should be thanking her.
I'm an easy going guy, I really am but she needs no encouragement from you bloody lot!
Already I have lost all my gear, need to buy another car and am expected to take and collect her from a fishery of her choice.
All I ever wanted was a quiet life, I right royally cocked that up!!

Munchy
 

Mrs Munch

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As i said earlier I am doing a service to society by keeping Mrs Munch away from some other poor soul(s). She believes that the heart is just a muscle and by either hiding and jumping out on me when I least suspect it or putting her frozen cold hands on me makes my heart stronger! Just yesterday she tried to feed my anus frozen peas whilst making Sunday / Monday Lunch... :eek: Somehow In her mind this is good for me and I should be thanking her.
I'm an easy going guy, I really am but she needs no encouragement from you bloody lot!
Already I have lost all my gear, need to buy another car and am expected to take and collect her from a fishery of her choice.
All I ever wanted was a quiet life, I right royally cocked that up!!

Munchy
Darling, you are just short of a decade older and senile for the most part.
Your heart is a muscle and therefore needs exercise. By scaring the sh*t out of you it beats faster and therefore makes it stronger. Stronger heart = longer life. Why would you not be grateful? 🙄
As you have had to put up with yourself for 50+ years, you of all people should understand the sacrifice I have had to take by taking you on board.
Again, you are welcome!
 

Total

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Oh my lard :eek: :D

I fear we might have to watch Mrs M if she is invited to a future Md's get together! ....I can see our members knitting and crocheting and getting WO hoovering his swim! :oops::ROFLMAO:
 

MunchMyStump

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He could knit a codpiece to keep him warm in winter.
I could but Mrs Munch would fill it with frozen sprouts, ice cream or some such icy item.. It's good for my heart (that has no problems yet!) apparently.
Or she would wire it up ....

Munchy
 

MunchMyStump

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Can't you see what she has done? Already she has infected the forum... Be afraid, the madness has only just begun and I have to live with this!
:eek:
Great banter. Though I'm sleeping in the shed tonight...

Munchy
 
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