The Red Leader diet

Dave

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Here's a tale of how to lose 8lb, approximately 1/30th of body weight in four days .... not recommended but it did work

Firstly purchase a half rack of Pork Ribs, ideally the middle cut between the Pork Chop and the thin rib ends
Secondly, stick on a BBQ for just enough time to cook through, or so I thought.
Chop rack into individual ribs and turn individually to finish .... are you with me so far?

Now I tend to like meat 'just cooked' as in anything other than red meat to be cooked to where it just turns, brilliant with Ribs except one thing, the meat might have been just cooked but the bone unfortunately not. They did taste lovely though, nice and flavoursome, juicy, even the belly fat crisped up into soft crackling. My missus on the other hand doesn't like Pork as such so left it all to me, bonus..... or a wise decision?

That was Saturday evening/tea time.
Monday afternoon and teatime I'm freezing cold, shaking, devoid of energy, and I'm thinking I'd overdone during the day, but by 8:00pm I'm in bed shaking like a shiteing dog, stomach cramping, sweating, feeling nauseous, needing to sleep.
By time Tuesday morning came around I was wrecked, I needed to cut a hole in the mattress big enough for the big white telephone to fit in, a bucket to the side of the bed, curtains to remain closed for the duration, and to add to the ambience my missus said I stunk :eek:
Just about everything that could exit my body did so, the only thing that could pass my lips without an immediate response being required was milk or water, I was turning inside out wretching and squirming.
The missus had to change the bed sheets as they became damp with sweat, she moved into the spare room as she didn't want to spend a night in the same bed - and I couldn't blame her. Any modicum of concentration has gone out fo the window, even the telly and PC remained switched off as too much effort.

By Thursday evening the only food I'd managed since Monday was two part tins of soup, half a sandwich, and a couple of pints of milk, for what good anything did.
I've woken this morning feeling much better than yesterday, thanks for asking ;), lightheaded with a nagging headache and a mouth that tastes like Ghandi's flip-flop, and 8lb lighter than I started the week.

So let's see what today brings, I'm starting to feel hungry which is a plus point, I just need to make sure what goes down stay down ... onwards and upwards they say :D

The moral of the story is if cooking any white meat on the bone on a BBQ, cook it thoroughly through in the oven first - unless you want to follow my diet tips that is ;)
 

Trent_Fisher

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@Dave i feel your pain. A few years back now I came down with a nasty bout of gastroenteritis and my symptoms started exactly the same as yours. I was sat at work next to the heater with a good 5 layers on and couldn’t stop shivering. I got sent home and during the drive home my back started to spasm because I was shivering so hard.
I got home and crawled into bed and it appeared like time stood still which just have been down to my fever. I would drift off onto what I thought was a deep sleep and would have dreams that felt like hours long but when I opened my eyes again only 5 or 10 minutes had passed. It was the most bizarre experience of my life and spending that night in bed felt like a week in my head.
I wound up staying in bed for a good 5 days, eating nothing and just making constant trips to the loo.

I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy!
 

Trogg

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So now you're up for a proper fry up, smoked bacon dripping with fat, sausages that 'sweat' when you push down with a fork, black pud sliced length ways and dropped on the side of the plate, tomatos grilled and floated on the plate, fried bread soaked in bacon fat, toast with a good thick spread of beef dripping and two slices of doorstep to dry the plate with.....proper grub..ffs i'm hungry now!!
 

Peter

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I have to say in Dave's defence that personally I've never experienced any problems or repercussions from anything I've eaten that Dave has barbecued. :upthumb:
 

Whisker

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Ye, I thought you’d been quiet too. Glad you’re on the mend Captain 👍
 

Trogg

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I have to say in Dave's defence that personally I've never experienced any problems or repercussions from anything I've eaten that Dave has barbecued. :upthumb:

Me neither BUT...this time he's been all over excited about getting his late evening candlelight BBQs using his finest Royal Dalton with hand painted perriwinkles going again and not done the job properly... 😉😂
 

spanky

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I don't think I've ever had an issue with BBQ food, but the one thing I wont cook on them is chicken legs and wings - they are notorious for food poisoning.

Anyhow - good to hear you're on the mend.

Worst food incident I ever had was something I picked up in Egypt. It took me two weeks back in the UK before I could eat anything that didn't go straight through me in a matter of minutes. You have my sympathies.
 

Dave

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In my defence, I should have put the ribs in the oven for a good hour or so before they even saw the BBQ. Although they were cooked I doubt in hindsight they reached a high enough temperature, and we were pushed for time to get the grandson home.
But hey ho, live and learn, at least it's just me and not the missus as well - :poop::sick:
 

DFL

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The reason why I only eat food from a bbq that I've cooked myself, and that's a rare event nowadays.

I managed to lose nearly a stone during covid last year, another diet not recommended.
 

Dave

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The reason why I only eat food from a bbq that I've cooked myself, and that's a rare event nowadays.

I managed to lose nearly a stone during covid last year, another diet not recommended.
I'd just got over that diet :(
 

Dave Spence

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On a serious note @Dave I'm glad your on the mend. Pork is notorious for this sort of thing.
 

Dave Spence

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So now you're up for a proper fry up, smoked bacon dripping with fat, sausages that 'sweat' when you push down with a fork, black pud sliced length ways and dropped on the side of the plate, tomatos grilled and floated on the plate, fried bread soaked in bacon fat, toast with a good thick spread of beef dripping and two slices of doorstep to dry the plate with.....proper grub..ffs i'm hungry now!!
You ever thought of writing a cookery book mate? It would be a best seller up north and sacrificially burnt down south🤣
 

DevonDangler

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Get some Yakult or one of the other probiotic yogurty type things down yer neck, they’ll help restore some decent bacteria in yer gut and speed up the recovery 👍
 
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