Telling an old person to stop driving

[banksy]

My old Mum is 78, and I'm concerned about her driving.

She's been driving for 60 years, and never had an accident.
But recently, several members of our family have seen her doing daft things in her car.
She's pulled out of side roads in front of my son, without looking, twice.
I came across her doing 25 mph on a dual carriageway section of the A64 near York. She was lost, and thought she was near Hull
She regularly phones my brother to ask him where the controls for the wipers, lights and dip switch are.

We've got together with her and told her that it's best she doesn't drive out of town, and that one of us will always be available to ferry her around.

But she's very independent, and does voluntary work as a bereavement counselor for a major charity. This often involves her in making home
visits, and it really does give her an interest in life.

So when do you call a halt?

SHOULD you call a halt?

CAN you call a halt, if she refuses to consider it?

Your views welcome.

 

[zenith20]

you'll have to tell her mate. Not only is she risking her own life she's risking other peoples too. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but I'd tell her. It'll be hard but it's for the best. Please don't take offence.

 

[Marvin Waggler]

I agree with zenith Dave, she's a danger to herself and others, hard to do but you'll have to speak to her, if she refuses I'm not sure what you can actually do to be honest other than disable the car.

 

[Brian the Fish]

You could have a word with her GP, he may have a word with her or give you some advice.
It sometimes sounds better from a third party.

 

[dancey]

Originally posted by banksy


CAN you call a halt, if she refuses to consider it?

If she refuses to stop driving you could contact her GP/DVLA as they could revoke her licence which no doubt would encourage her to stop driving!

By the sounds of it, as mentioned above she is not only endangering herself but other people as well and if she refuses to stop I dont see any other way forward.

 

[Brian the Fish]

I've just been on the Citizens Advice Bureau web-site and saw that after the age of 70 you must re-apply for a licence, which then lasts for 3 years. If your mum's 78 she must be coming up for applying again for her licence, maybe there is something you can do then.
Whatever you do she won't thank you, she sounds a very independent young lady.
Good luck. [:T]

 

[crumpercatcher]

Originally posted by dancey

Originally posted by banksy


CAN you call a halt, if she refuses to consider it?

If she refuses to stop driving you could contact her GP/DVLA as they could revoke her licence which no doubt would encourage her to stop driving!

By the sounds of it, as mentioned above she is not only endangering herself but other people as well and if she refuses to stop I dont see any other way forward.

As said above or mention you will shop her to the police, before she pulls out in front of a cyclist / motorbike or doesn't see a child in the road etc.

 

[totality14]

hi mate had to sit my dad down a couple of years ago. He had a couple of mild heart attacks then had a massive stroke ( we thought we had lost him that time.) he had always driven and still loved his fishing but i put it to him what would happen if he had another stroke or heart attack at the wheel of his car and hit and killed someone could he ever live with it he ended up giving up his car.explain to your mum the risk she is causing to others and the next berievement counseling she might be giving is to the parents of some one she has killed. Sorry it sounds harsh but it is reality

 

[Col7777]

If you do get her to stop she is eligible for a free bus pass anyway, I know it's not as convenient but she can still get about.

 

[rushyefc]

Originally posted by crumpercatcher

Originally posted by dancey

Originally posted by banksy


CAN you call a halt, if she refuses to consider it?

If she refuses to stop driving you could contact her GP/DVLA as they could revoke her licence which no doubt would encourage her to stop driving!

By the sounds of it, as mentioned above she is not only endangering herself but other people as well and if she refuses to stop I dont see any other way forward.

As said above or mention you will shop her to the police, before she pulls out in front of a cyclist / motorbike or doesn't see a child in the road etc.

thats the last straw shopping her to the police could you live with your self

 

[nobby478]

Let's not put the cart before the horse lads. Perhaps she needs to visit the Doctors is all. Her memory is failing, she should see her GP to see if help is available.

If not..well the GP has to do a letter on suitability to drive on the over 70's don't they?


Sort of gets the GP to do the dirty, doesn't it?


Hope you get it sorted.

 

[Cooky]

Originally posted by rushyefc


thats the last straw shopping her to the police could you live with your self

you would not say that if your child was lying dying on the floor would you [?][?][?]

 

[Neil ofthe nene]

Tough but all you can do is sit her down and explain what you have witnessed and tell her firmly that you are taking the keys away and selling the car. May be worth talking to her GP about this.

 

[kevin o connor]

As stated here already, talk to the G.P., if he/she is approachable.
There are not many doctors who would allow an elderly person to drive if they were told about some of the incidents you have mentioned. If you do approach the doctor and they refuse, and later your mum is involved in an accident, the doctor could be held liable as they were informed about it. The doctor has a duty of care to their patients. Maybe contact the local police and ask for advice. Either way, you have to do something. Some times you have to be cruel to be kind. People have mentioned her conscience, if she were involved in an accident, what about yours ?

 

[James Dunn]

damn shame to take the ladies independance from her even more so because she gets pleasure from her charity work god bless her . but it seems to me that her stopping driving is a must sadly

 

[banksy]

Originally posted by totality14
... the next berievement counseling she might be giving is to the parents of some one she has killed...

A pretty unanimous view, and the above statement says it all.

Thanks for all your contributions, I'm decided now.

 

[motocrossboy7]

ye best choice mate sorry but defo the safest for all.

 

[rushyefc]

Originally posted by Cookyr

Originally posted by rushyefc


thats the last straw shopping her to the police could you live with your self

you would not say that if your child was lying dying on the floor would you [?][?][?]

so u would blow your own mother up mate there are other things than shopping to the police

 

[Nemesis]

Originally posted by banksy

My old Mum is 78, and I'm concerned about her driving.

She's been driving for 60 years, and never had an accident.
But recently, several members of our family have seen her doing daft things in her car.
She's pulled out of side roads in front of my son, without looking, twice.
I came across her doing 25 mph on a dual carriageway section of the A64 near York. She was lost, and thought she was near Hull
She regularly phones my brother to ask him where the controls for the wipers, lights and dip switch are.

We've got together with her and told her that it's best she doesn't drive out of town, and that one of us will always be available to ferry her around.

But she's very independent, and does voluntary work as a bereavement counselor for a major charity. This often involves her in making home
visits, and it really does give her an interest in life.

So when do you call a halt?

SHOULD you call a halt?

CAN you call a halt, if she refuses to consider it?

Your views welcome.

I think you have answered your own question banksy,if you are worried about it enough too ask for other peoples advice.

 

[midge99]

I've got an auntie who's in her 80's and still drive just the other week she got her first speeding ticket.

On the other hand we have just recently got my grandad to stop driving I have been saying it for years, as he was dangerous on the roads. We convinced him he didn't need the car as, my mum and dad both drive and are retired, and I drive and don't work because of my disablity, so it worked out fine.
You may have a lot more persuiding to do thou Banksy