Spanky's thread

spanky

Irregular Member
Site Supporter
Joined
Aug 28, 2007
Messages
9,086
I have purchased an endoscope so that I can look up old friends
 

spanky

Irregular Member
Site Supporter
Joined
Aug 28, 2007
Messages
9,086
I helped my wife with the dinner last night.

I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
 

spanky

Irregular Member
Site Supporter
Joined
Aug 28, 2007
Messages
9,086
I was the getaway driver for a robbery at a paper factory in Maidenhead last night.

We took the A4.
 

spanky

Irregular Member
Site Supporter
Joined
Aug 28, 2007
Messages
9,086
BMW have recalled all their cars following a serious fault.

One was seen with a working indicator.
 

spanky

Irregular Member
Site Supporter
Joined
Aug 28, 2007
Messages
9,086
I'm looking to start up my own business, recycling discarded chewing gum.


I just need help getting it off the ground.
 

spanky

Irregular Member
Site Supporter
Joined
Aug 28, 2007
Messages
9,086
Man U have rejected Wayne Rooney's latest transfer request.

Apparently, they aren't allowed to accept anything written in crayon.
 

spanky

Irregular Member
Site Supporter
Joined
Aug 28, 2007
Messages
9,086
I poured some water over a duck's back yesterday.

He didn't care.
 

spanky

Irregular Member
Site Supporter
Joined
Aug 28, 2007
Messages
9,086
I went to a fancy dress party last week dressed as a loaf of bread...

The birds were all over me.
 

spanky

Irregular Member
Site Supporter
Joined
Aug 28, 2007
Messages
9,086
I was watching a DVD on my laptop last night when I thought,

"Maybe it would be better if I put it in."
 

spanky

Irregular Member
Site Supporter
Joined
Aug 28, 2007
Messages
9,086
I've spent five frustrating days repeatedly shouting "Heal!" at my dog.

If he doesn't get well soon, I might just have to take him to the vet.
 

spanky

Irregular Member
Site Supporter
Joined
Aug 28, 2007
Messages
9,086
I have got a bit of a reputation as a ladies man in my local.

All I can say is, they smell so much cleaner than the gents.
 

spanky

Irregular Member
Site Supporter
Joined
Aug 28, 2007
Messages
9,086
A man walks into a library and says

"I hope you don't have a book on reverse psychology."
 

spanky

Irregular Member
Site Supporter
Joined
Aug 28, 2007
Messages
9,086
As a kid, I used to torture ants with a magnifying glass and the sun.

I'd make them read it.
 

spanky

Irregular Member
Site Supporter
Joined
Aug 28, 2007
Messages
9,086
For sale, camouflage jacket. 250 OVNO

 
Last edited:

spanky

Irregular Member
Site Supporter
Joined
Aug 28, 2007
Messages
9,086
I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.

It reminds me why there's no money in there.
 

spanky

Irregular Member
Site Supporter
Joined
Aug 28, 2007
Messages
9,086
When someone annoys you, just keep calm and count to 10.

Then smack them in the face when you get to 8 - they won't expect it.
 

spanky

Irregular Member
Site Supporter
Joined
Aug 28, 2007
Messages
9,086
I went to the doctor and complained that I felt like a can of deodorant.

"Are you Sure?" He asked.
 

spanky

Irregular Member
Site Supporter
Joined
Aug 28, 2007
Messages
9,086
I got lost walking around London today until I saw a paving stone with the word 'GO' written on it.

It was then I realised I was somewhere near the Old Kent Road.
 
Top