Spanky's thread

spanky

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I only seem to get sick Monday to Friday...

must be something to do with my Weekend immune system.
 

mickthestick

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I went round my Mates House and his Kids were running about screaming , he said don't ever have Kids Mate .I said "hard work " , he said no your bloody ugly
 

mickthestick

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In trouble with the Wife , when she said "If anything ever happens to me, I want you to meet someone else".Apparently did not include her getting stuck in a 2 hr Traffic Jam
 

mickthestick

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Today I went to a barber's shop for a shave. The barber asked me to put a small wooden ball in my mouth so he could get a closer shave around my cheeks.
I asked: "But what if I swallow the ball?"
He replied: "No problem sir, you just bring it back tomorrow like everybody else.
 

mickthestick

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Sean Connery did a television appeal calling for more volunteers to help 'Save the Children'. The next day, more than 14,000 people turned up with razors.
 

spanky

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My girlfriend accused me of stealing her thesaurus...

Not only was I shocked, I was also aghast, appalled and dismayed.
 

Rich51

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I asked a barista at Starbucks, “Why are you wearing a surgical mask?” She said, “I’m not. It's a coughy filter."
 

spanky

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During my local football match, I was sent off for diving...

Goodness knows how that springboard got there in the first place.
 
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