Spanky's thread

spanky

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A cow can produce up to 500 litres of methane a day...

Well the one I married does anyway.
 

spanky

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My doctor has advised me to stop drinking, so I'm going to have to make some changes in my life...

First, I need to find a new doctor.
 

spanky

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In Britain, someone receives a covid jab 27 times every second...

I would imagine their arm is starting to get a bit sore by now.
 

tonerain

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Had a massive argument with the missus last night, after which she stormed out of the house.

Then she sent this text message.

Gotaproblemwithmyphone.Thespacekeyisntworking.Anywayimfedupofthesecontinuingarguments.Youregoingtohavetomoveoutotherwisewhenigethomeyouregoingtohavetogivemeanalternative.

I’ve made my decision, I’m not moving out. But wtf does ternative mean ?
 

nomorelongwalks

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An Indian man has been arrested for punching his wife in the face.
Chinda Goodunproppa , has denied all charges.
 

spanky

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My son said I’m obsessed with coffee...

So I gave him a roasting and told him he was grounded.
 

spanky

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On a first date I always talk about obese pet penguin..

It's a good icebreaker
 

spanky

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Arrived home today and saw my wife was packing...

I don't even know she had a gun licence.
 

spanky

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Lance is now a fairly uncommon name...

But back in medieval times, people were called Lance a lot.
 
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