Spanky's thread

spanky

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My ungrateful wife hated the present I bought her so I’ve decided to sell it...

For Sale: One ungrateful wife.
 

spanky

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I sexually identify as a microwave meal...

I come ready in three minutes and look nothing like the picture.
 

spanky

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My mate goes to the gym religiously every week...

He's the one on the treadmill dressed as a vicar.
 

spanky

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I have an uncanny ability to predict what's inside a wrapped present...

You might say it's a gift.
 

spanky

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are reportedly divorcing...

At this difficult time, please give them the privacy and space they need to make a TV reality show, clothing line, new perfume, aftershave, makeup range and album about the break-up.
 

spanky

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The missus says she's going to donate her body to science after she dies...

This is good news - hippo/human hybrids are very rare.
 

spanky

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First trip booked for Jan 2021, going to Iceland...

Fingers crossed if that goes well looking at Tesco in Feb and Asda in March.
 

spanky

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I've just been fingered for a crime...

A bit harsh as I was hoping for just a caution.
 

spanky

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Last night I looked up at the stars and wondered...

What am I doing outside?
 

spanky

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Police are now issuing COVID fines if you have a particularly ugly wife.
 
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