Spanky's thread

[mickthestick]

I'm not going to be one of those idiots rushing into the Supermarket and buying all the bog rolls , I 've still go hundreds left from the first time

 

[mickthestick]

I heard a Woman moaning the other day , "who still doing Hair , Face and Nails . I said the Undertaker , now stop in and stop moaning or he'll be doing yours love

 

[spanky]

Mountains aren't just funny...

They're hill areas.

 

[spanky]

Next week is Diarrhea Awareness Week...

Runs until Friday.

 

[spanky]

FOR SALE: DeLorean Car.

Good shape, low mileage, only driven from time to time.

 

[spanky]

Wife: We should get some fish to feed the cat

Me *shaking head* they'll forget, they have very short memories

 

[spanky]

It's been difficult organising the World Hide and Seek Championships...

Good players are so hard to find.

 

[spanky]

As the burglar entered the darkened room, I shone a red dot right between his eyes...

and let the psycho cat do the rest.

 

[mickthestick]

Anyone know how I can get a Mink coat from Denmark , I need it for the Wife as an Xmas present

 

[spanky]

I went to the garden centre to buy some compost...

When I saw how expensive it was, I nearly soiled myself.

 

[spanky]

My doctor said that I should put a bar in my shower to stop me falling over.

But after four double rums I can't even find the soap.

 

[spanky]

I asked the estate agent if he had any bungalows in my price range. He said he only had houses...

But that's another story.

 

[mickthestick]

My Mate Pete is a great Prankster , every time I come home early from work he jumps naked out of the Wardrobe , gets me every time, how he sneaks past the Wife I don't know , Legend

 

[spanky]

Only got one new year's resolution for 2021...

Try and get out of the house a bit more.

 

[Sassenach]

What is Forrest Gumps password....




14S1

 

[spanky]

“Two used life jackets and a half inflated dinghy! What kind of Christmas present is that?”

It was at that point I realised she wanted me to get her something from Chanel.

 

[spanky]

When I applied for shift work, I didn't realise the "F" was silent.

 

[mickthestick]

The Wife was angry with me today shouting and bawling , so I put a Towel over Her Shoulders and said , oh look your SUPER angry now , I'll post the Hospital visiting times later

 

[spanky]

If you've ever wondered how many whiskies it takes before you violate your neighbour's inflatable reindeer...

It's 7.

 

[spanky]

I've been told I'm condescending.

(That means I talk down to people).