Spanky's thread

spanky

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I'm not saying my wife's thick...

But she thinks a vendetta is a block of ice cream.
 

spanky

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Found out I'm allergic to Rowan Atkinson...

So I'm taking anti-misterbeans.
 

spanky

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I've been a non-stop oarsman in a boat for the past five days...

That's 120 hours in a row.
 

spanky

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My wife’s just left me because of my obsession with the movie ‘Airplane’...

Looks like I’ve picked the wrong week to quit smoking.
 

spanky

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I've just got back from the holiday of a lifetime...

I won't be doing that again.
 

mickthestick

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I've booked a Cruise for next year but the Wife says she's a bit worried about being cooped up with the same people for 3 weeks , I said listen love we're all in the same Boat
 

spanky

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I got quite tearful earlier when I passed a stray dog...

That's the last time I use that Korean takeaway.
 

spanky

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They say to never go shopping for food when you’re hungry...

It’s been a week already and I'm just getting hungrier and hungrier.
 

spanky

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I’ve just finished building a model of Mount Everest.

My mate asked “Is it to scale?”

“No” I replied. “It’s to look at”
 

spanky

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Asda have said that those people with a "Mental Impairment" do not have to wear a mask whilst shopping in their stores.

But they have asked that those with the condition to please wear their Spurs shirts so that staff can spot them and avoid any misunderstanding.
 

spanky

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I've just lost my job as an ice cream tester...

I wouldn't do sundaes.
 

spanky

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I noticed my car was low on fuel...

As I was filling up my wife said "You really need to get this anxiety sorted out - It's only a trip to the petrol station"
 

spanky

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My friend was injured recently when someone threw a bunch of herbs in his face...

He’s now parsley sighted.
 
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