Rules for Women during the FIFA World Cup 2010

Status
Not open for further replies.

Marvin Waggler

Bass Blanker
Joined
Sep 6, 2007
Messages
10,723
LIST OF RULES!!

1. From 11 June to 11 July 2010, you should read the sport pages so you are aware of what's going on regarding the World Cup and will be able to join in conversations.
If you fail to do this, you'll be looked at in a bad way or be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup the television is mine, mine, mine at all times without any exceptions.

3. I don't mind if you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me.
If you decide to stand naked in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute - unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat.
You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it won't happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least two six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on.
And please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's only a game" or "don't worry, they'll win next time".
If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break-up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during half-time but only when the adverts are on, and only if the score is pleasing me.
In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

8. Most importantly, making love is out of the question during the entire month. It has to be a 'quickie' and that has to be during half-time as well.

9. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

10. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,

b) I will not go, and

c) I will not go.

11. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

12. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?" The reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

13. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years".
I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, English Premier League, etc.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Regards,

Men of the World[:D]
 

Donfish

'Wot's geet Wilf?
Joined
Sep 26, 2009
Messages
2,887
Can't stand football meself.I'm dreading a month of this stuff interfering with all the normal TV programmes,all the hype,in depth pre game analysis,pro game analysis,pundits,et al, etc, etc,Yawn............I might watch the final if England are in it,
otherwise,no thanks.
 

Marvin Waggler

Bass Blanker
Joined
Sep 6, 2007
Messages
10,723
Originally posted by Donfish

Can't stand football meself.I'm dreading a month of this stuff interfering with all the normal TV programmes,all the hype,in depth pre game analysis,pro game analysis,pundits,et al, etc, etc,Yawn............I might watch the final if England are in it,
otherwise,no thanks.

Well Don, you'll just have to follow the womens rules then[;)]
 

Donfish

'Wot's geet Wilf?
Joined
Sep 26, 2009
Messages
2,887
Originally posted by Marvin Waggler

Originally posted by Donfish

Can't stand football meself.I'm dreading a month of this stuff interfering with all the normal TV programmes,all the hype,in depth pre game analysis,pro game analysis,pundits,et al, etc, etc,Yawn............I might watch the final if England are in it,
otherwise,no thanks.

Well Don, you'll just have to follow the womens rules then[;)]

Fortunately,Marv,there's only me,the wife,and son in the house,no football interest so i'll just chug on as normal.[:)]
 

Len Wade

Bog-Monster
Site Supporter
Joined
Oct 29, 2009
Messages
3,014
Originally posted by Marvin Waggler

LIST OF RULES!!

1. From 22nd June to 5th July 2010, you should read the sport pages so you are aware of what's going on regarding WIMBLEDON FORTNIGHT and will be able to join in conversations.
If you fail to do this, you'll be looked at in a bad way or be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During WIMBLEDON FORTNIGHT the television is mine, mine, mine at all times without any exceptions.

3. I don't mind if you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me.
If you decide to stand naked in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during WIMBLEDON FORTNIGHT

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute - unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat.
You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it won't happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least TEN LITRES OF CREAM SODA in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on.
And please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please if you see me upset because one of my FAVOURITE PLAYERS is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's only a game" or "don't worry, they'll win next time".
If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about TENNIS than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break-up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during half-time but only when the adverts are on, and only if the score is pleasing me.
In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use WIMBLEDON FORTNIGHT as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

8. Most importantly, making love is out of the question during the entire month. It has to be a 'quickie' and that has to be during THE ADVERTS as well.

9. The replays of the goals SET POINTS are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

10. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,

b) I will not go, and

c) I will not go.

11. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

12. The daily WIMBLEDON FORTNIGHT highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?" The reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

13. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God WIMBLEDON FORTNIGHT is only once a year".
I am immune to these words. because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, English Premier League, etc.
Thank you for your cooperation.

Regards,

TENNIS-MAD WIVES[:D]


Just got Marvin's list back from my missus, suitably amended.......[:0]

We have only got one TV, so it's going to fun and games in my house over the next few weeks! I'm seriously considering camping out in the garage with a van-load of booze and buying a portable telly or going to stay with mates.

I won't be missed: well, not for a fortnight, at least! [;)]
 

thetraveller

Regular member
Joined
May 25, 2004
Messages
8,291
Originally posted by Len Wade
[

8. Most importantly, making love is out of the question during the entire month. It has to be a 'quickie' and that has to be during THE ADVERTS as well.

[;)]

There are no adverts on the BBC. You might need a box of Kleenex
 

Len Wade

Bog-Monster
Site Supporter
Joined
Oct 29, 2009
Messages
3,014
Originally posted by thetraveller

Originally posted by Len Wade
[

8. Most importantly, making love is out of the question during the entire month. It has to be a 'quickie' and that has to be during THE ADVERTS as well.

[;)]

There are no adverts on the BBC. You might need a box of Kleenex

You're right, but Madame won't be watching tennis 24/7 and a chap must take advantage of these (Infrequent) female lapses of concentration........[:D]
 

pfenc

Regular member
Site Supporter
Joined
May 24, 2008
Messages
551
Mines not into sport, so as much of the world cup as i want [:D]
 

stikflote

Regular member
Site Supporter
Joined
Apr 18, 2004
Messages
8,127
IF i presented my wife with those rules,she would either hit me on head or put hammer thru TV ,thank god i wont be watching it cant stand tv any way ,sooner read a book,only thing i might watch if i remember its on is formula 1 once a month ,we have two tv,s one wife watches one in other room i use for race once a month other wise its not switched on at all
 

john83

Account Locked
Joined
Mar 27, 2003
Messages
0
dont watch world cup games at home, much rather go the pub even if im not drinking, just for the atmosphere and it's literally round the corner.
 

Larry

Lazarus
Joined
Dec 4, 2001
Messages
10,575
Totally agree with you Marvin,
Len you stuff the Tennis where the monkey keeps his nuts no interest in Tennis whatsoever.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top