Please give generously .......

Status
Not open for further replies.

16Ewasko

Regular member
Joined
Jun 29, 2005
Messages
773
Please give generously...........

Major floods hit North Britain... Epicentre: Rotherham, England

News of the disaster was swiftly carried abroad by the town's 35,000 racing pigeons, as victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering "flippin'eck" and "chuffinnorah".

The flood decimated the town, causing almost 30 worth of damage.

Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearic Isles and the Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were ruined.

Many locals were woken well before their Giro arrived. Radio station RotherFM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Rotherham. One resident, 15 year old mother of 3, Tracey Sharon Braithwaite
said:

"It were such a shock, my little lass Chardonnay-Madonna came running into my bedroom crying. The twins, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I were still shaking when I were watching Kilroy t' next morning".

However, locals were determined not to be bowed, as looting, muggings and car crime carried on as normal.

So far, whilst the British Red Cross has managed to ship 4000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to relieve the suffering of stricken locals, rescue workers searching through the rubble have found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos, and bone china from Pound-Stretcher.

Can You Help?

Please respond generously to our appeal for food and clothing for the victims of this disaster.

Clothing is needed most of all, especially:
* Fila or Burberry baseball caps
* Kappa tracksuit tops (his / hers)
* Shell suits (female)
* White sports socks
* Rockfort boots or any other product sold by Primark.
Culturally sensitive food parcels are harder to put together, but our efforts will make a difference.

Microwave meals, tinned baked beans, ice-cream and cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew are ideal.

Please do not donate anything that requires peeling.
Remember:
22p buys a Biro for filling in compensation claims
2 buys chips, crisps and a blue fizzy drink for a family of 9
5 will pay for a packet of BandH and a lighter to calm a child's
nerves.

And for only the price of a bottle of house sparkling wine in a south west London pub will be able to buy a house for a typical household of 9 + 3 dogs!

Urgently required: Tinned whippet food, Caesar for Jack Russell's.

Please do not send tents for shelter - the obvious improvement in housing might cause residents to believe they have been forcibly relocated to Sheffield.

Thanks
 

Columbo

Regular member
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Messages
4,086
Brilliant [:D]

I keep wondering though if other country's are helping us, collecting money and setting up aid for us? Just like we always do for other countries.

Steve
 

Ady

Formerly Adymon
Joined
Mar 3, 2007
Messages
1,347
Actually 1/10 for originality, although it is very funny, the last time there was a similar disaster in the UK a very very similar template was written up and posted everywhere, i got it in an email and on another forum, however, looks like this one has been updated (Primark and Rotheram related insults). Still, very funny, i laughed out loud as i will every time i read it!
 

midge99

Regular member
Joined
Feb 24, 2004
Messages
15,515
Don't you just hate southern snobs whose's noses point upwards that much as they speak they are possible the cause of all this rain.

I don't find it funny in the slightest, many people have lost everything in these floods and all this toffy nosed southern snob can do is make fun of those people.

hopefully the next disaster will be in hampshire then we can laugh at him
 

tallboyjim

knows nowt
Account Locked
Joined
Aug 10, 2005
Messages
660
I agree there midge. Take the mick out of anyone - fair enough. I've been to portsmouth and thats an easy target but to start ripping the mick while folk in rotherham and doncaster are still trying to clear up just aint funny. Perhaps 16ewasko isnt anti northern and knows some good gags about the two poor sods who died in gloucestershire last night.
 

john83

Account Locked
Joined
Mar 27, 2003
Messages
0
Originally posted by Ady

Actually 1/10 for originality, although it is very funny, the last time there was a similar disaster in the UK a very very similar template was written up and posted everywhere, i got it in an email and on another forum, however, looks like this one has been updated (Primark and Rotheram related insults). Still, very funny, i laughed out loud as i will every time i read it!

no flies on you is there mate! [:D][;)]
 

badpegpicker

Proud to be a.....
Joined
May 26, 2006
Messages
11,298
Whats happened in the floods is terrible, my brother lives in Tewkesbury(poor sod lol).

I know its in bad taste, but dont you think thats whats great about the UK?

We arent scared of taking the mick out of ourselves.

I can think of one country across the pond that takes itself a bit too seriously, but will happily invade anyone that doesnt agree with them......
 

midge99

Regular member
Joined
Feb 24, 2004
Messages
15,515
Originally posted by tallboyjim

I've been to portsmouth and thats an easy target

In the Navy it was known as dog sh!t city. spot on I always thought
 

badpegpicker

Proud to be a.....
Joined
May 26, 2006
Messages
11,298
Originally posted by midge99

Originally posted by tallboyjim

I've been to portsmouth and thats an easy target

In the Navy it was known as dog sh!t city. spot on I always thought

Ah.....good to know the ol' North/South divide is still going strong eh??[;)]
 

tallboyjim

knows nowt
Account Locked
Joined
Aug 10, 2005
Messages
660
Originally posted by badpegpicker

Ah.....good to know the ol' North/South divide is still going strong eh??[;)]

Well he started it [:I]. You can pick alot of towns and cities that are rough, north and south. I just think its a bit of poor taste to pick on one thats been flooded. That said, this thread aprt, the way everyone has pulled together all over the country should give us all a sense of pride.
 

midge99

Regular member
Joined
Feb 24, 2004
Messages
15,515
I only posted the rant for a reaction and got one.
It is a British trate we can laugh at ourselves even in a time of need.

the joke in Doncaster was any donations of soap will be greatly receive in Toll Bar
 

thetraveller

Regular member
Joined
May 25, 2004
Messages
8,291
Originally posted by Columbo

Brilliant [:D]

I keep wondering though if other country's are helping us, collecting money and setting up aid for us? Just like we always do for other countries.

Steve



4 Coach loads of Bangladeshi's helped to clear the flood damage at Hull last month. At the weekend a mini cab driver took the remaining pair back to the airport.[:p]
 

badpegpicker

Proud to be a.....
Joined
May 26, 2006
Messages
11,298
Makes me wonder what everyone would say about our area if anything big happened...mind you with all the chavs and kiddie parents here its no different to anywhere else! lol
 

Enigma

Armchair Carper
Joined
Feb 17, 2006
Messages
4,761
Originally posted by midge99

Don't you just hate southern snobs whose's noses point upwards that much as they speak they are possible the cause of all this rain.

I don't find it funny in the slightest, many people have lost everything in these floods and all this toffy nosed southern snob can do is make fun of those people.

hopefully the next disaster will be in hampshire then we can laugh at him

Take it with a pinch of salt Midge....I lived in North Yorkshire for years and it's no different from here in the south we all have our fair share of snobs and scum!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top