Pet hate with a funny ending

Dave

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One of my pet hates is people who take on the role of traffic police when a lane is shut and traffic is asked to merge from two into one lane. There's always one person who decides that he/she should straddle the lines to try to prevent other vehicles from passing - the 'if I have to queue so do you' mentality - what part of merge do they not understand?

Anyway, today I pulled out of a house driveway into such a queue, the two lanes were coned off on the nearside further up and I pulled out of the drive into the nearside lane with the intention of moving into the queue in the outside lane once someone let me in.
However, some knob in a Transit van decided it was his day to be a traffic cop and pulled across my path spanning the white lines to stop me from passing - in all fairness I was just about to pull in behind him as the car following him had left a gap.
Quick as a flash I accelerated and cut across the lane to reappear at his offside leaving him stranded over the white lines and not being able to get back in - served the knob right.
He had nowhere to go other than to brake in front of the cones with me grinning at him from behind the wheel of my Hilux. Needless to say his bravado faded quickly as he flung his arms up and mouthed something along the lines of wtf!

Anyway I'm not unreasonable so when he waved an apologetic hand I courteously allowed him back in, albeit with a bit of egg on his face, it certainly put a grin on mine :D
Had I been unreasonable I could have just left him there, perhaps he'll think twice next time :)
 

Scribe

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Not the same I know but I get super peed off when you are on the inside lane of a motorway queuing to come off at a junction and someone who is obviously far more important than ayone else could possibly be, cuts in at junction, often shooting across a hatched area, forcing someone to let them in.

When I had my old car I would tagging the car in front, driving as close as possible to the dividing line to cut down any angle for someone to push their way in, Furkle em, if they can't get in they can go to the next junction and find their way back. :mad:
 

rd115

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I'm a really p****d off driver at the best of times, completely intolerant of others stupidity. I've taken to undertaking people on the motorway and A roads now, if they're too stupid to keep left it's their problem they're getting undertaken.
 

Dave

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My problem, if I can call it that, is I never get angry when driving, I always see the funny side of incidents and very rarely see red.

It makes it more funny when you get a knob who gets really wound up over the slightest thing. A knob in a BMW came down our street the other day - I'd parked on the kerb outside my house, there was another car parked opposite and just enough room to pass through safely.
However the knob came down the street at about 30+ (it's a small residential street, occasionally used to cut a corner) and I was just getting something from my passenger side which was in the road. He had to brake, no room to get past, and started gesticulating and shouting from behind the safety of his steering wheel.
My truck, my kerb, my time, no rush so I just turned and smiled at him, then carried on lol.

This only made him more agitated and when I did move and close the truck's door he shot through the gap effing and jeffing as he went - have a nice day :D
 

Scribe

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I have asked the good lady for Rocket launchers on my car as there are idiots that drive like they have a death wish and I just want to make their day ! :D:D
 

Dave

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At times I would love to have something like this mounted on the back of my pickup ...

1629233195038.png
 

John Step

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The richard heads I cannot stand are the shoulder sitters
There you are on a two lane motorway driving quite reasonably in the nearside lane when the eejit just sits on my offside about a car length behind, not overtaking but just content to match my speed as I approach a slow moving lorry or similar. They are quite happy to feed me up the back of said lorry cos I cant pull out cos they are friking blocking me in.:mad:
 

MrBen

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At times I would love to have something like this mounted on the back of my pickup ...

1629233195038.png
So it’s true the hilux is the choice of motors for warlords. Might want to contact taliban motors see if they can do a conversion for you.

I try never to get annoyed whilst driving as emotions and driving shouldn’t be mixed. I did succumb once almost home, passing parked traffic that was causing the road to be a shingle track, guy screamed in from the other end. Stopped at the end of my bumper and gesticulated I should back up. So I just got out my vehicle and locked it started walking off. He was shooting where are you going, so told him I was going for my tea, and I would be back later and hopefully the road would be clear by then. This obviously couldn’t happen as it’s the only road in to a couple of other streets and there is no other way round. He reversed up, so I duly walked back to my vehicle and carried on my way. Few months later who should present their vehicle for an MoT but the happy motorist 😂 once we got chatting it was all good, best thing is we pass each other at least once a week now and always exchange a wave and if on foot a quick conversation.
 

Dave

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I've known some really nice mild-mannered people turn into bad-tempered, foul-mouthed ogres once locked away behind the steering wheel inside their car, almost as though it's a security shield to the outside world.
Only once have I had someone get out of their car ranting towards me. He was told to get back into it otherwise be put in it which bought him to his senses.
 

Foul hooked

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The richard heads I cannot stand are the shoulder sitters
There you are on a two lane motorway driving quite reasonably in the nearside lane when the eejit just sits on my offside about a car length behind, not overtaking but just content to match my speed as I approach a slow moving lorry or similar. They are quite happy to feed me up the back of said lorry cos I cant pull out cos they are friking blocking me in.:mad:
had exactly the same thing thing the other day. Pulled out of the services onto motorway where there is an acceleration/merge lane, which turns into the exit slip for the junction just past the services. I was behind a lorry that was intending to leave the carriageway, so no space for me to accelerate into, with another behind but despite indicating for a good 200 yds or so this woman sat right on my offside rear wing doing about 45mph. nothing in front or behind or in the second lane, so could easily have moved over or speeded up or slowed to let me in either in front or behind. eventually, running out of road i had to brake, causing the vehicle behind to also slow so that i could pull out behind her. I immediately went round and made a big show of indicating to pull back into the nearside lane once in front. As i passed she was staring straight ahead and didn't even notice me overtaking. Some peoples lack awareness of what is happening around them is frightening. i am convinced that it was not a case of belligerence but she simply had no idea I was even in the acceleration lane or indicating to move out onto the main carriageway.
Those ancient ones amongst us will remember the old TV advert with the keep off the grass man, the airhead and the guy dreaming of can-can girls when driving in the overtaking lane. it reminded me of the airhead guy. in a little world of their own with no awareness of other traffic etc.
 

Zerkalo

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I do in excess of 100 miles a day for work. I'm always surprised I haven't had been involved in an accident yet. Not because of my own driving. I always say to myself 'made it' when I arrive home.
 

Nobby_nobbs

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The one that gets me is the guy in the middle lane behind an overtaking truck, and has been for half a mile.
Nothing In The outside lane and you manoeuvre to overtake both, the truck eventually pulls in the near side lane and the pratt then decides to accelerate just as you are passing them.
 

160642fishing

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I'm a really p****d off driver at the best of times, completely intolerant of others stupidity. I've taken to undertaking people on the motorway and A roads now, if they're too stupid to keep left it's their problem they're getting undertaken.
I had one like you a couple of weeks ago on the M11,I was following a lorry in the inside lane,car coming up the outside lane so I thought I'd let him by before ovetaking the lorry,looked in my mirror and an idiot in the inside lane suddenly undertook me on the hard shoulder then cut in between me and the lorry nearly hitting the car that was overtaking me,I hope when you have your accident it's only you that gets hurt,have a bit of patience man.
 

muskrat

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The one that gets me is the guy in the middle lane behind an overtaking truck, and has been for half a mile.
Nothing In The outside lane and you manoeuvre to overtake both, the truck eventually pulls in the near side lane and the pratt then decides to accelerate just as you are passing them.

This is the 'slingshot effect' - It also happens when they've been stuck to your bumper for miles, despite the 3rd lane being empty. As soon as the first lane is clear you pull in, maintaining the same speed, and the nob will accelerate past you in the middle lane.
 

rd115

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I had one like you a couple of weeks ago on the M11,I was following a lorry in the inside lane,car coming up the outside lane so I thought I'd let him by before ovetaking the lorry,looked in my mirror and an idiot in the inside lane suddenly undertook me on the hard shoulder then cut in between me and the lorry nearly hitting the car that was overtaking me,I hope when you have your accident it's only you that gets hurt,have a bit of patience man.

Not like me, i never overtake on the hard shoulder.

I'm on about idiots that hog the middle and outside lanes for no good reason when there is nothing in the left lane. I'll happily bomb up the inside of them blasting my horn as i go.
 
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