Paddy.

SpenBeck

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Paddy & Mick stagger out of the zoo with blood pouring from them..
"******** to that" said Paddy "That's the last time I go lion dancing"

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Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year".
Mick said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th then."
 

willothewisp

willothewisp
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Father Father, me oul dog just died and oi want it buried properly. Will ye do me a funeral service for her?
Ah no Paddy, sure that wouldn't be right, I don't do that sort of thing, but I tell ye if ye ask the Presbyterian minister shure he'll give ye a nice service.
Arrah okay father. But will it cost much?
No Paddy probably not too much for a dog.
Father, do ye think £1000 will be enough?
Good gracious me Paddy, sure why didn't ye tell me it was a Catholic dog?????
 

160642fishing

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The priest was at mass giving the congregation a hard time about ghosts,
Priest - "I'm telling you there is no such thing as ghosts,has anyone here ever seen a ghost" he said
Paddy - "Oi have"
Priest - "You'r telling me that you've seen a ghost but have you ever spoken to a ghost"
Paddy - Oi have I have"
Priest - So you've seen a ghost and you've spoken to a ghost,you'll be telling me next that you've made love to a ghost"
Paddy - Oi have.oi have"
Priest - " so you're telling me you've seen a ghost.you've spoken to a ghost and you've made love to a ghost"
Paddy - " A ghost was it you said,I thought you said a goat"
 

Yorkieboy70

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Jan 16, 2010
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Paddy and Mick walking along a cliff
All of a sudden Paddy falls down the cliff
Mick shouts down, Paddy are you ok
Paddy shouts back call me an ambulance.

Mick starts shouting.........

Paddy is an ambulance, Paddy is an ambulance
 

SpenBeck

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Dec 23, 2006
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Builders, Paddy and Mick are walking off site when a brick falls off some scaffolding and slices Paddy's ear off!

Paddy is lying in the ambulance when he says to Mick, "Did you pick my ear up because they might be able to sow it back on?"

Mick, "Of coarse I did, look."

Paddy, "That's not my ear, mine had a pencil behind it!"
 

PJG

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Nov 15, 2018
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167
Foreman says to Paddy: go and get me a wheelbarrow
Paddy comes back with two wheelbarrows
Foreman says: you've got two wheelbarrows?
Paddy says: well I weren't going to carry it!
 
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