Mother-in-Law

160642fishing

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A woman rings her Mother-in-Law and says "can you please tell me who's job it is to change a child if it poos itself",she replies, "sorry dear but it's always the mums job","fine,she said,"can you come over,your son got drunk and s**t himself"
 

The Landlord

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Fella gets a phone call off the coastguard.

Coastguard: Mr Jones. we've just pulled you mother-in-law's body out of the sea. It's not very pleasant I'm afraid, there's even three lobsters attached to her. What would you like us to do?

Mr Jones: Tell you what. I'll have two, you have the other one & we'll put her out again tonight.
 

muggins

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One Christmas, for a present, I bought my mother in law a burial plot at her favourite cemetery.
The following Christmas she asked " what are you buying me this year?" "nothing" I replied "you haven't used last years yet!"
 

RedhillPhil

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"I always know when the mother in law is coming. The mice throw themselves on the traps"
The late and very great Les Dawson.
 
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