Mother in law advice please.

david white

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From reading between the lines unfortunately you are quite likely to get ‘ children shouldn’t be out when I want to be driving my car ( they should be seen and not heard blah blah ) sounds like the lady is a selfish old so and so, maybe the ‘ new ‘ lockdown restrictions will hopefully restrict her driving requirements
( when it was obvious my father shouldn’t ( couldn’t ) drive anymore as the eldest I took him to one side and asked how he thought I would feel if he killed himself in an accident or, god forbid, if he’d caused a death by his driving, fair play to him the next day we sold his car ........ )
 

tipitinmick

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Thank you guys. Some brilliant advice there. A lot of great info for our family to talk about. What a dilemma to find ourselves in. She is a lovely woman but, she can be stubborn at times. She seems to have got worse the past couple of years. She got called for her vaccine the other day and is now refusing to have it. God give me strength. 🙄
 

Ken the Pacman

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If she was similar to my MIL she did not want to give up her independence but when I asked her to read a number plate with her glasses on and she could not I pointed out that she was below the standard for driving and as such her insurance would be invalid.
After a month or so she grudgingly sold the car.
She had previously crashed into someone in the Asda car park so it was only a matter of time.
 

Barbelcatcher

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Quote
"What a dilemma don’t envy you or anyone being in that situation
Maybe your wife ( or even you ) could quietly ask her how she would feel if it had be a fatal accident or if it had been her own kin she’d hit as she would run the risk of being prosecuted
Sneaky, but needs be, ring the police and report the car being driven unsafely next time you know she’s out in it"


The above was the situation in our family. Quite word with police, with them then being phoned when relative was out driving, they were stopped and license later removed. Not nice to do, but can look back with the knowledge that it was the right thing to do. We had argued for other 2 years about the driving with the person not listening. Menace on public roads.
 

R0B

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What did the police say at the time of the incident? Surely they would have been able to ascertain the cause of the incident and found your mother in law to be unfit to drive if no other vehicles were involved?
 

satinet

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Unfortunately old age doesn't improve people.

My grandmother wired out a couple of parked cars before she stopped driving.
 

robert d

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My mother in law is 84 years old now and insists on driving her car. Yesterday my wife got a call from her distraught sister who said that their mum had mounted a curb and knocked into a child. The child was shaken but not hurt in anyway thank god. Only last week she drove into a wall at the church she attends. Her car is scratched beyond economical repair and does not have a corner left where she hasn’t hit something. Yesterday my wife phoned her mum’s doctor asking if he could take her off the road but, sadly he said that it wasn’t up to him and the decision was solely with the DVLA. We have asked her on numerous occasions to hang up her car keys but, this is often met with a barrage of unladylike language. Has anyone any experience of this and what’s the best way to tackle it ? If she carries on she’s going to hurt someone or at least damage their property. Thanks guys.
Throw her keys in a skip 😇
 

Wise Owl

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To be fair, if I had a mother-in-law who hit a child in her car, I’d throw her in a skip, quickly followed by her car. How could anyone live with themselves, knowing how bad she is, if she went out tomorrow and killed someone?
Agreed (y)
 

tipitinmick

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To be fair, if I had a mother-in-law who hit a child in her car, I’d throw her in a skip, quickly followed by her car. How could anyone live with themselves, knowing how bad she is, if she went out tomorrow and killed someone?
I see you’ve thought that through.
 

tipitinmick

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If, as you said, she is a church going woman, could her vicar/priest have a chat with her?
Maybe pal. We live 70 mile away so although I know she goes to church I don’t know which one. Guessing there’s a few in Nottingham.
 

DevonDangler

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I see you’ve thought that through.
Didn’t need to think it through. Saw it this morning, took seconds to think “hits a child and asking for advice?” Couldn’t comment earlier as busy at work. She hit a child. What would you be asking if she’d killed that child? Get her off the road at whatever cost. You know she’s a liability, why do you even need to ask?
 

Maesknoll

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My mates Dad was in a similar situation, in the end they disabled his car and bought him a mobility scooter (he hit two people on separate occasions driving that, running one old woman over!) he was a liability and wouldn’t give up of his own accord. The Dr wouldn’t/couldn’t do anything, my mates misses is a civilian front desk worker in the police and they told her there was nothing they could do.

Don’t envy you the situation, but personally I’d be disabling the car and suffer the verbal consequences, rather than be dealing with the aftermath of a serious accident.
 

Dave

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Yeap, disable the car or as if you say it's knackered anyway, bung a potato up the exhaust or stick a bag of sugar in the fuel tank.
She'll take it out, break down, get all upset and flustered, and hopefully the experience will bring it home.

We had an elderly neighbour of 91 who wrote my wife's car off reversing out of her drive, across the road, stoved the side and rear quarter in, then drove off leaving half he bumper behind.
A neighbout up the road (a gp) saw it happen and when she returned it was agreed we'd talk to her together - she denied all knowledge of the crash, even whne confronted with her own car's damage.

Most taxi companies will allow you to set up an account with them and all the m-in-law will have to do is phone them, go to wherever, then sign the docket for the journey. At the end of the month she pays the bill, no messing about.
 
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