Men rules

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Barrie44

' The Hulk '
Joined
Jun 20, 2003
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We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Finally!! So these are OUR rules! please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. You can handle it. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Fishing, golf, speedway or music.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.[:D][:D]


<edit> Just moving this to the corner peg Trogg 30/07/03
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If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
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Take me to Barries fishing photos.
 

Barrie44

' The Hulk '
Joined
Jun 20, 2003
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[h2] Come on it's not a JOKE[/h2] We rule dont we[?] LOL

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If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
____________________________
Take me to Barries fishing photos.
 

Trogg

the bouncer
Staff member
Site Supporter
Joined
Aug 11, 2001
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28,420
Corner pag ain't just for jokes mate its for anything "funny".

Anyway no matter how true (which is VERY) any woman will tell you its a joke. [:D]


Alan
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scouse_lee

evertonian
Joined
Feb 3, 2003
Messages
783
very good but also very old...
who lent you that..

a bad day's fishing is better than a good day at work
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ken age 63

' Gin & Tonic '
Joined
Apr 23, 2003
Messages
1,409
i never knew you had meet my wife,you seem to know all her little ways,

A river is water in its loveliest form

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