Little known angler Newies Maggots earlier today broke the British barbel record with a fish weighing 26lb 4oz. Apparently this novice angler had never fished for barbel before and caught the fish on his first ever cast for the species. Fishing 2lb of curry flavoured Spam on a 14 ounce lead on a rising river Trent Newies said and I quote" Couldn't understand why I couldn't hold bottom when Stoo was only throwing a 1 ounce lead, thought I'd snagged the bottom and realed in only to find my fish of a life time gasping for air waiting to be netted. This barbel fishing is far to easy". The fish wiegh in was veryfied by respected anglers John Wilson and Chris Yates who said" We can't believe how good this man is yet he can't tie a knotless knot". Unfortunately Newie woke up two minutes later realising the cats weren't biting and he'd just p****d in Stoos bivvy! Tight lines all.Pete the blade. PS beer involved in this post.