Maggot Drowners Complete Guide to Angling

[Lee Richards]

Give advice on items of tackle that you have never used and then compare it to other items of tackle that you have also not ever used.

Inform others with a good portfolio of catches and experience that they are doing it wrong and back it up by showing a video from Youtube of somebody nobody has heard of.

 

[Markywhizz]

Explain that the reason someone is not catching is that they didn’t allow a budget of £4000 to get set up with gear.

 

[Lee Richards]

Never engage in a conversation with someone on the bank if they start talking about fish sizes as you will be drawn into a game of "Top Trumps" and the phone will be whipped out to show twenty years worth of angling photos.

 

[Lee Richards]

Don't bother going to Commies where you know that top anglers can catch 600lb in a match because you know it will be easy and you will get bored doing the same.

To make your fishing more enjoyable always concentrate on what everyone else is doing and rejoice in telling others you fluked a large Carp whist the Carp anglers struggled that day.

 

[Silver fan 82]

Go to a commie then slag it off as you sat there all day catching fish after fish ?‍

 

[Markywhizz]

Put everyone who has more expensive tackle than you on ignore then put everyone who has less expensive tackle than you on ignore. This means you will only see your own posts and will avoid getting into arguments.

 

[Markywhizz]

Never go to a commie in your life and then tell everyone you don’t fish them cos they are too easy. After all the normal bag is 600lb on all commies regardless of ability.

 

[Lee Richards]

Always remember that angling is actually an endurance sport and it is more satisfying sitting in driving freezing rain for a couple of Gudgeon than it is to be getting lots of bites and keeping active.

 

[Markywhizz]

Launch a brutal attack on anyone whose political views are to the left of yours. Start a chain of posts about Diane Abbot being thick.

 

[Dave]

Never tell her your real name, tell her you're going for a post coital pee and do a runner.

Tell her a Pre coital pee and watch her do the runner

 

[Robwooly]

Never start a thread that has multiple posts featuring the word commie as it's get flagged up in certain countries and really confuses their secret services

 

[smiffy]

Always assume that when someone’s having a pop at commercials they’re having a pop at matchfishing. Then reply to the comment based on that assumption.

 

[Godber]

NEVER EVER EVER admit to using a brolly? or the 'skins waterproof' brigade will snigger at your girly like weakness.

 

[robert d]

NEVER EVER EVER admit to using a brolly? or the 'skins waterproof' brigade will snigger at your girly like weakness.

I keep reading brolly ,what is s brolly ?

 

[SeanB]

If using granny's old tights as a pellet wetter, remove granny from them first, UNLESS fishing a commercial and need to boost the fishmeal content ?

 

[Gaz9243]

If the fishing is hard going, you have to blame the Eastern European’s for fish theft

 

[Peter]

If starting a thread about distance/location of a fishery accept that a minimum of 50% of the replies will have absolutely nothing to do with your enquiry and that they will involve @sly having the pee ripped out of him absolutely unmercifully.

 

[Peter]

Likewise expect that any post about Rules or Bailiffs will be totally taken over as the forum members post memes/crack jokes about @ukzero1 .

 

[ukzero1]

Likewise any post about Rules or Bailiffs will be totally taken over as the forum members post memes/crack jokes about @ukzero1 .

 

[Sebbie]

Decorating the island with floats/feeders is mandatory.

Glad I’m doing something right!!