Maggot Drowners Complete Guide to Angling

robert d

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When taking photos hold the fish as close to the camera as you can.

Remember that if you do catch a really big specimen it's okay to add to its weight and a 1-12lb Roach can be classed as a two.

Forgetting a camera to snap the big fish is an okay excuse and the problem will be solved when camera phones are invented.

When taking Roach photos turn them around so they look like different fish.

When someone catches a big fish congratulate them at least once before talking about yourself and taking away their opportunity to accept some praise.
 

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Northantslad

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Rule number 1.
There should be no rules and everyone would get on a whole lot better overall if everyone respected we all do it differently at times.
As driven by what individual expectations are for a session. Bag up? Catch biggest weight you can and frame/win? Enjoy the day out and catching is a bonus? Target the biggest fish? Target any fish? All of the variables really that exist.
 

JLK

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Rule number 1.
There should be no rules and everyone would get on a whole lot better overall if everyone respected we all do it differently at times.
As driven by what individual expectations are for a session. Bag up? Catch biggest weight you can and frame/win? Enjoy the day out and catching is a bonus? Target the biggest fish? Target any fish? All of the variables really that exist.
Accept the fact that some people will never read the original post and reply in the way it was intended. ??
 

Godber

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When fishing MD's matches you must ensure you drink until 3am or alternatively until totally shittfaced. Turning up sober and muttering serious shitt about winning will result in that member being seriously and mercilessly abused for the following 5 hours.
 

Robwooly

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Jun 8, 2020
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Tell everyone you walked miles with loads of gear despite knowing full well you fished the car park banker swim - for the twentieth time in a row

Slam keepnets then post a net of fish in your next catch report.

Slam holding fish up for the camera but have one for your avatar pic

Catch a nice barbel on the lead and then whip out your cane rod, centrepin and float for the photo.

Never show a photo of your face in case you get recognised by the frequent users of that dodgy webcam site

Give the guy with the cheap gear lots of advice and tell him to use a centrepin cos he's not as good as you

Tell the guy with the cheap gear he's lucky to have all the fish in his swim after an hour of blanking opposite him
 

chefster

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Whatever pole anyone asks for , or about you haven’t got a clue about , you just recommend Tri-Cast ?(used to be Daiwa), and don’t forget to slag off Maver , even though you’ve never owned one ?. Always slate new angling products, saying they’re “Emperors new clothes”, “Catch more anglers than fish”...etc
 
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mickthechippy

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myself I like to write complete and utter bo11ox on the Whip fishing posts
 

chefster

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When asking a question about specific elastic for a specific purpose, be prepared to expect answers between 4-20,solid,hollow,slik,every manufacturer .....and a hundred different products from NG ??
 

JLK

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Another tip...If you are after a new lightweight seatbox. Don't buy one with a footplate which weighs 4kg. Just buy a 40 year old brilo river seat box and put 5 house bricks in the base unit.(use the ones with holes in. They are lighter) You can level the legs up if need be and use the extra brick as a footrest. ??
 

chefster

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Another tip...If you are after a new lightweight seatbox. Don't buy one with a footplate which weighs 4kg. Just buy a 40 year old brilo river seat box and put 5 house bricks in the base unit.(use the ones with holes in. They are lighter) You can level the legs up if need be and use the extra brick as a footrest. ??
Mate, we could keep this up all day ?????
 

JLK

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Hahaha. :ROFLMAO: I was just thinking that mate. Think I'll give it a rest now and act my age ???
 

Dave

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When posting about a specific range of floats always expect someone to come along and recommend their 'sponsors' floats as being the best you've ever used ;)

(Disclaimer: not so much on here but rife on the book of faeces ;) )
 

mickthechippy

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as an aside

when in conversation, lets say in the pub or at a match brekkie,

does anything ever stay on the original subject, thats the way things go, anglers like to ramble on about untold,

the original question or subject always gets lost in the conversation
 

BTMS

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Never look behind you when casting you will only see the things you are going to hook.
Tell the fish its cuppa time/wiz break
 

mickthechippy

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IMG_2623.JPG

LOL.

Edit: If you look to the right of the picture, you can see the MK1 version. It just wasn't up to it.

bit of spare laccy and a deodorant top would make that into an ideal dual purpose rod rest and feederpult too
 
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