Maggot Drowners Complete Guide to Angling

nejohn

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You can't possibly catch a barbel unless you use a rod with barbel written on the butt

Same goes for pellet waggler, you must not fish this method if the rod you are using does not say pellet waggler on the butt

You can not catch fish if all of your clothing, luggage and tackle are not colour co-ordinated

If the venue you are fishing holds only one 30lb carp you must always use tackle capable of landing this one fish

When you post a question about a rod you should always expect a 'buy an acolyte' answer in the first 5 replies

And as it is winter..... Don't drink the yellow snow
 

Lee Richards

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When taking photos hold the fish as close to the camera as you can.

Remember that if you do catch a really big specimen it's okay to add to its weight and a 1-12lb Roach can be classed as a two.

Forgetting a camera to snap the big fish is an okay excuse and the problem will be solved when camera phones are invented.

When taking Roach photos turn them around so they look like different fish.

When someone catches a big fish congratulate them at least once before talking about yourself and taking away their opportunity to accept some praise.
 

chefster

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When taking photos hold the fish as close to the camera as you can.

Remember that if you do catch a really big specimen it's okay to add to its weight and a 1-12lb Roach can be classed as a two.

Forgetting a camera to snap the big fish is an okay excuse and the problem will be solved when camera phones are invented.

When taking Roach photos turn them around so they look like different fish.

When someone catches a big fish congratulate them at least once before talking about yourself and taking away their opportunity to accept some praise.
Make sure you take at least 10 photos of a 3oz roach in your hand ???
 

Lee Richards

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If a poster asks a specific question about a rod it is okay to tell them you have no idea but use a completely different one.

It is also acceptable to talk about your favourite reel when answering a rod question.
 

chefster

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Don’t waste money on hooks when a bent pin will do !!....don’t waste money on rod rests when a tree branch can be used ...If you do insist on buying a seatbox it must be either an Octbox or Matchbox all others are useless!
 

Lee Richards

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Name drop at every opportunity to enhance your credentials even though most on here will not have a clue who you are talking about.

Des Taylor told me that when I was sat in the pub with him and Lol Breakspear after a day out we had last year. ;)
 

robert d

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Meant in jest ;) (y)

Rules for fishing

1) Only use Brown Crumb or homemade groundbait as new ones are fandangled.
2) Do not buy nice tackle when you can fashion your own, you're probably not a good enough angler to warrant it anyway.
3) Fish must be caught on dead pinkie only, especially Barbel, on 0.06 hooklengths if possible. Not forgetting the 15g cage feeder in flood conditions.

Anymore? Meant in jest remember.... although probably a humour fail on my part, just my thoughts at the moment. :LOL:
Everyone knows the above but we should really fine it down in summer as that only works in winter
 

JLK

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Be prepared to get battered senseless by a tricast easy reach when asking about the best landing net handle.

Ask a question about what is the best latest 15/16/17 ft rod and then get a million replies on how good a carbotec or normark13ft number 1 or 2 is from 50 yrs ago with our without the 2ft extension.
Then waste everyone's time by thanking everyone for their advice but you have just bought a 20ft flag pole that you are going to whip eyes on yourself and use the end of a wooden broom as the handle. ??
 

robert d

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Meant in jest ;) (y)

Rules for fishing

1) Only use Brown Crumb or homemade groundbait as new ones are fandangled.
2) Do not buy nice tackle when you can fashion your own, you're probably not a good enough angler to warrant it anyway.
3) Fish must be caught on dead pinkie only, especially Barbel, on 0.06 hooklengths if possible. Not forgetting the 15g cage feeder in flood conditions.

Anymore? Meant in jest remember.... although probably a humour fail on my part, just my thoughts at the moment. :LOL:
You dont need any pole rollers if fishing 16m or above as you can break down at every section and re assemble after every fish ,it only takes an extra 20 mins a fish .
 

robert d

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Meant in jest ;) (y)

Rules for fishing

1) Only use Brown Crumb or homemade groundbait as new ones are fandangled.
2) Do not buy nice tackle when you can fashion your own, you're probably not a good enough angler to warrant it anyway.
3) Fish must be caught on dead pinkie only, especially Barbel, on 0.06 hooklengths if possible. Not forgetting the 15g cage feeder in flood conditions.

Anymore? Meant in jest remember.... although probably a humour fail on my part, just my thoughts at the moment. :LOL:
When fishing anywhere especially rivers dont take any thing with you ,its just to heavy ,just tell any angler you meet someone is breaking into his car and use his whilst hes away checking .
 

Dave

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Always park at the top of a hill when you go fishing. At the end of the day when you're pleasantly tired it's always nice to traipse up a hill with all your tackle before you go home.
 

robert d

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Don’t waste money on hooks when a bent pin will do !!....don’t waste money on rod rests when a tree branch can be used ...If you do insist on buying a seatbox it must be either an Octbox or Matchbox all others are useless!
But thats a correct answer every time lol ,except maver aint to bad ?
 

62tucker

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Don’t buy a net bag.
A bin bag will do and use the money saved on fishery own pellets as the fish are used to them and not eat any other make.
 

robert d

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Nylon or Cotton/Polyester ?

Just asking for a friend ;)
I use the only ones youre allowed fishnet tights but im finding it hard to keep the bait in so i reccomend 22mm boilers as they dont fall out
 
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