Lime Tree Club Match....12/01/03

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MALC

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Date : Sunday 12th January 2003
Venue: Monk Pool (club water)
Time : 9.30am (ish) till 2.30pm

The Pheromones & Cold Rule The Day

Today was the first Lime Tree Club match of 2003 and the start of the 6 match Winter series which is fished from January to March at the rate of 1 match every other week all on the club pools at Sheepy Magna (oh joy)[|)][:(][;)].

Well with a 8am draw time it was up at 6am and get ready for Steve to pick me up at 7am for the hour drive up the A5, (looks like Steve may have to suffer driving for a while now as although i got a replacement car on Saturday it's only got room for 1 set of kit [:0] (sorry Steve) [;)][:)]

Well after a cautious drive to the pools in temperatures around minus 6 we got to the car park at 7.45am and before Steve had even managed to switch the engine off Paul was Bounding across the car park (not a nice site i can tell you) [B)] in search of our pools money (either that or there was an earthquake at the same time) [B)][;)].

It wasn't long to wait and then the draw was made so every one set of armed with Ice Breakers to warm our selfs up a little as can be seen below .................................


ICE BREAKERS ARE GO
Datafile2.jpg


After almost three-quarters of an hour everyone had managed to break an area to fish but along the way Ken on my left had managed to loose the head on his ice breaker (much to everyones amusement) [:0][;)]
then i followed suit as my chain snapped,[:0][:(] but not before i'd managed to fill both moon boots up with freezing cold water.[:(][:0][;)] Which caused an even bigger laugh.


NEARLY FINISHED THE ICE WORK say's Craig
Datafile2.jpg


The all in was shouted by Paul at 9.30 (ish) and then the fishing started and to help pass the time and to also help keep us warm in the cold wind the BANTER started, and as i was surrounded by shall we say the loud element of the club [;)][;)] in the form of Ken on the next peg on my left and with Craig, Paul and Andy on the opposite bank to my left and right (the pool is only about 16mtr wide) it was a case of lots of warm air flowed [;)] but a good laugh was had at most of our expense [:D][;)][:D]

Well to say the fishing was slow would be to kind a word to use but most people managed a fish or 2 in various sizes.

This is Paul holding up the stamp of fish (personally i think he's holding a maggot up)[;)][;)]
Datafile2.jpg

Note all the Broken ICE that is sat on the top the ice well that was due to Paul & Andy trying to fill my ICE HOLE back in as i was clearing it (wish they had)[:D]

Right on with the Result as i know by now anyone thats reading this are dieing to see just how badly we managed.

1st..Betty Rowlands...4lb 8oz 12drm
2nd..Rose Beale..........14oz 8drm
3rd..Paul Roberts........10oz 12drms..(MDer)
4th..S Wilson.............7oz.........(MDer)
5th..A Woods..............5oz
6th..D Watson.............4oz
7th..A Jeffcoat...........2oz 8drms
8th..G.Eggison............1oz.........(MDer)
8th..J.Brooks.............1oz
10th.C Neale..................8drms
11th.K James..................4drms...(MDer)
12th.M Doyle..................4drms...(MDer)

2 D-N-W (forgot who they were though)[:0]

Total weighed in was 7lb 8oz 8drms of which Betty managed to weigh in over half the total that was caught by the rest of us.

thumbsup.gif WELL DONE BETTY & ROSE thumbsup.gif

Now i can't finish this report off with out letting the world know what happened when with less than an hour to go betty hooked and successfully managed to land the fish below from her small hole in the ice.

BETTY WITH HER 4LB+ MATCH WINNING COMMON
Datafile2.jpg

Prior to Betty landing her Carp Paul was all smug and was thinking it was a 2 horse race between himself and Rose with him having a slight advantage.

So you can imagine what the air was like when Betty slipped the net under the carp [;)] not only was Paul crying, he also looked like a
ha2_e0.gif with envoy (and the rest of us cheering like mad)[:D][:D].

And then just to rub salt in his wounds with only minutes to go Paul hooked a Carp only for it to take him under the ice and into a dead weedbed where his hook was firmly embedded.[:D][:D][:D]


UNLUCKY PAUL [:D][;)][:D][;)][:D][;)]


Datafile2.jpg
THE TOP 3
3rd placed Paul....Winner Betty....2nd placed Rose

As for me well it took till gone 9pm for me to get any feeling back into my feet but even now at almost 6.30am the next day they are still tingling [:)].

Next match is 2 weeks time.




MALC
IT'S CATCHING ...BUT ARE YOU !!!
 

Paul Roberts

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Nice write-up Malc!!!!!!

Shame there are no pictures of you doing your 'disco dancing' to try and get your feet warm (I ask you, what kind of fool stands in icy cold water, whilst breaking the icy, then, not only getting one welly full, proceeds to go and do it again!!!!!)

These two women should be barred from the Lime Tree, especially Rose, she's the ex womens NFA champion who is the only person this season to win more than one match (and guess where she won them - yeah, at Sheepy). Also, I think there is only one golden orfe in Monk Pool and guess who caught it - whilst the rest of us were struggling to catch micro perch and gudgeon. As for Bette, she must have hooked and landed that carp so quickly it didn't stand a chance of diving into a weed-bed. I mean, everyone can see each other but no-one noticed her playing this fish - they noticed me, all right, when I hooked my carp which snagged me up in a matter of seconds.

It seemed to me that yesterday was 'take the pee out of Paul day' especially from you MALC DOYLE!!!!! That's the last time I feel sorry you and your freezing toes!

Let's hope the next match is ice-free as Sheepy is rapidly filling-up with broken ice-breakers (namely bricks, car-jacks etc... probably looks like a junk yard on the bottom of the pool)

See you on the next one in a fortnight!!!


Regards




Paul
 

scott essery

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Well done all you artic explorers but i still think your nutty [;)]

I mean JUST LOOK at Malcs first pic! its like something out of David Attenbourour meets the Eskimos' [:D]

your mad! im with Kev .... fish and ice only go together when its Birds Eye fish fingers!

Paul, you cant keep balming Betty and Rose for beating you 'cos they are ex Natonal champs. Face it mate, they are simply better than you guys ... wadeit go girls [:D]

Malc, 4drams! a single red maggot weighs more than that!! were you bullying those sticklebacks again! you tight sod. pick on someting more your own size....a 6oz roach weighs about the same as you at the mo [;)]



silver man
 

Simon R

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Malc

You're lucky to only have THIN ice down there in the deep south.

I went up to Co. Durham yesterday to practice for next weeks AT Supercup only to find the ice so thick that my 5lb ice-breaker bounced off it!

I don't think anthing short of a
would have shifted it. Roll on the summer [:D]

Simon
 

Peter

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Well done everyone.
No butterfly anglers there. [:)]
Malc,At least you didn't have a TROGG. [}:)]

Bricks.Car jacks,Hammerheads
Get an ARGOCAT


Peter.

Make Friends,
Go Maggotdrowning.
 

dirk

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what a shock result, Girls 1st 2nd and 3rd
Betty, Rose and Pauline.
 

Polepot

Poles
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Congratulations to the ladies - you sure showed 'em.

I still think your all stupid fishing is for pleasue and I don't call it pleasure freezing to death.

Poles


Great info, great guys, great fun, thats Maggot Drowners
 
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MALC

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[:I][:I][:I] I'll post the following as although it was/is [:I][:I] embarrassing [:I][:I] for me i know that Paul will no doubt make a comment on the subject so i'll get in first.[:I][:I][:I] and save a little face even if it means i'll get LOADS of stick for it

[:I][:I][:I][:I][:I][:I][:I][:I][:I][:I][:I][:I][:I][:I][:I]

Here goes

Prior to our match on Sunday quit a few Roach had been going belly up on the pool and it was arranged for the EA to come and take away some of the still alive Roach for tests to see what the problem was.

Well the man from the EA turned up and as i had drawn the scales he walked around with me and collected some of the Roach which were sickly looking and i also netted and handed him some that were swimming weakly on the surface.

Now whats embarrassing about that you ask..[?][?]

Well nothing but that has set the scene for over an hours worth of phone calls on Monday night between myself, Steve, Paul and the EA then a trip to the hospital [:I][:I][:I]

Now it gets interesting (and careful with the wording)[:I][:I]

This afternoon i noticed that all was not well down below with something appearing swollen and peeling [:I][:I] (i wont be any more descriptive than that) as well as a big lump appearing and being in some pain [:I][:I]

Needless to say i thought what the hell was going on.!!

The only thing i could think of was maybe (now the reason for this post) [:I][:I] whilst answering the call of nature after the fishing yesterday i had managed to pass something from a fish to a part of my body that does not get to see daylight.

So me being me made a phone call to Steve to see if he had any problems in that area...[:I][:I]

His reply is not printable on an open forum suffice to say that he had no problem and his other half had a good laugh.

So i thought in for a penny in for a pound and rang Paul to see if he had a contact number for the EA so they could say yes or no to a possible disease transfer...[:I][:I]

BIG MISTAKE as Paul had no number but a lot of laughs and even his wife joined in offering words of wisdom (regarding Condoms and the like) [:I][:I]

After the amount of stick i gave Paul on Sunday i think he'll use this one for a long time to come.

Well after speaking to Paul i got hold of the EA which meant that for the 3rd time i had to explain what the problem was [:I][:I] and you could tell that although the guy on the other end of the phone was trying not to laugh he did find it funny, but he was helpfull and rang me back after contacting someone else (proberly had a good laugh then) [:I][:I] to say that it was not likely for any thing to have been passed from the fish to me.

So off to the Hospital i go to see what they say and to explain it all again to 3 different people [:I][:I] The Receptionist, a Nurse and then finally a Doctor (who had a look and a poke about) [:I][:I]

I was not embarressed any more but mostly laughing as trying to explain the situation [:p][:p][:p]

Well after 3 hours at the hospital and being poked about by a Doctor, he reconds it's caused by a lack of sugar and protein but has booked me in tomorrow to get some tests done on the affected area and hopefully sort it out.[:I][:I]

And before anyone asks no it's NOT the STD Clinic he's booked me into [:p][:I][:p][:I] but it does mean i've got to explain it all again.[:I][:I]

Right flack jacket is now on and waiting for the verbal to arrive, as i know it will, if not on here i'll get it on the bank in 2 weeks time.

[:p][:p]GLAD I'M THICK SKINNED[:p][:p]
[:p][:p] I THINK I'LL NEED IT [:p][:p]







MALC
IT'S CATCHING ...BUT ARE YOU !!!
 

Geoff P

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quote:So off to the Hospital i go to see what they say and to explain it all again to 3 different people The Receptionist, a Nurse and then finally a Doctor (who had a look and a poke about)

Receptionist got a medical degree and training has she, just like the one in my local doctors, who got a bit put out when I told her I would rather explain my problems to a person with even a slight knowledge of medicine

Geoff

Clean Banks Campaign member
 

Dave

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ROFLMAO


Tears are nearly streaming down my face Malc -


Sounds like a case of SVC tho' [:D] - Sore & Very Cold [:D]

Dave
 

Paul Roberts

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Damn you Malc Doyle - I wanted to be first to tell the world but you beat me to it!

I've never had a 'phone call like that before!!
It started off as "Paul, can I ask you a personal problem?"
" Huh???" I replied
" Did you have a pee after the match finished yesterday?"
" Oh ****, what have I done?" I thought - why do you always feel guilty of doing something even when you haven't done anything?
"Well" said Malc "the skins falling off my knob and it's all itchy"
That started it - I couldn't stop laughing even though I was trying to show some concern!
Malc started to explain everything, then my wife sat down beside me curious at all the hilarity going on. I then told her what was happening and she started to crease up. She mentioned about the STD clinic (that's the Sexually Transmitted Disease clinic NOT some kind of motor oil), she also enquired if Malc used condoms and had he changed supplier (she was being serious, I was in stitches!!!)I then came up with one suggestion that I thought was the problem - "is the skin flaking off your right hand, as well?" I won't tell you what the reply was but you can guess!!!
After many, many minutes of this we came up with the idea that he'd been shagging too many fish of late and must stop immediately or else the wife will get jealous.

Malc, I must admit you've got balls to admit to this (even if they are red and flaky, and half of Rugby knowing about your problem)

You do keep us entertained, what's going to be your next 'trick'??
(this won't get mentioned at the Presentation Night will it!)

Hope your 'old man' gets better soon and please, please keep us informed!!!!


Regards




Paul
 

granjuiceymoose

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LOL LOL unlucky. Dont mean to laugh but LOL sorry. Try Sudocrem. Might work. Hope your tackle gets sorted soon [:D]

Tight lines [:D]
 

ken

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christ now ive heard it all. having sat next to malc for 5 hours and listening him say how cold his feet were . i now find out he was s------- a fish . anyone know a good club because i think i need one after this what was worst was finding out he moved to rubgy of his own accord the sad man . best wishes all .going over the pub to drown my sorrows this lot drive u to drink
 

kev coke

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LOL
[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]
The tears are rolling down my cheeks thanks malc never a dull moment with you

KEV THE PEOPLES BOOKIE
 

dirk

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Glad I'm THICK SKINNED you say! apparently not between the legs your not.
I told you in the summer you was getting to friendly with RED, now it's rubbed off
Sorry Malc
 

MALC

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A LITTLE [;)] UPDATE

[:I][:p][:I][:p][:I][:p][:I][:p][:I][:p][:I]

Cheers for all the words everyone[:p][:p]

Well back to the Hospital on Tuesday and more explanations and a bit of prodding and poking about. [:I][:I]

Been told it's just a Sugar and Protein Imbalance which was probably aggravated by the cold and wait for it Smoking (no surprise there then).

Suggested reason given for why it appeared where it did is that these things tend to appear on the warmest parts of the body (bit vague but thats what the doctor said) honest.

Anyway he gave me some cream to rub in [:D][:D] (enjoyable but tender).[;)][;)]

Must admit Julie and my self have hardly stopped laughing since i made the first phone calls to Steve and Paul. [:)][:)]

She still can't believe i rang them and also posted details on here for all to see.

But for those that know me i doubt you are surprised [;)][;)][;)]

And at least it's given a few of you a laugh [:D][:D][:D]

Sorry there are no pictures with this report but my camera only has a 2 x Zoom feature and the quality gets lost with crunching [:D][:D][:D]





MALC
IT'S CATCHING ...BUT ARE YOU !!!
 

lodge1

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The kiwis have a reputation for being too friendly with the sheep but after this we are the normal ones!!catching fish for sexual pleasure and owning up to it!!
 

Chopper

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Anyway, more importantly, what was wrong with the Roach??!!

[:D]

Lee Saville - Colmic Team Ossett

Individual 2002 World Club Champion, Zagreb - Croatia.
Individual 2002 Angling Times North East Region Winter League Champion.
2001 Embassy Division 1 National Team Champions.

www.colmic.com
 
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