jokes.....

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Trogg

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A man meets a woman in a pub & ends up back at her place for a bit of "rumpy".

When he goes into the bedroom he notices 3 shelves on the wall all with teddies on them, the bottom shel is full of small ones, the middle has slightly larger ones & the top shelf is full of big ones.

Thinking nothing of it he gets down to the "deed" in hand, afterwards he can't help himself any longer &asks the woman if she collects teddies, she doesn't answer so he asks her if "it" was good for her, she looks at him & says "you can have any prize from the bottom shelf" [:D]

In the garden of eden god asks Adam & Eve which one would like to pee standing up, Adam jumps up & says me me me so God agrees, Adam sits down with a dirty great grin on his face, god then speaks to Eve & says "looks like you get to have multiple orgasms then Eve" [:D]

A newly wed is telling her friend how well she's getting on with training her husband, suddenly he rushes in & shouts "how about a quicky", shocked the girls friend says "i thought you were training him??" the girl replies "oh i am, before he wouldn't have asked me he'd have just done it" [;)]


A man of 90 walks into confession & says
"Father, my name is Larry & i have sinned, i made mad passionate love to an 18yr old girl all day yesterday"
The priest replies "hm that is bad but i don't think you're one of my flock are you??"
"No" comes the reply
"so why are you telling me this?" asks the priest
"Blimey mate i'm telling everybody not just you" says the old man [:D]



Alan
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nutter

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how do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

put it in the microwave 'till it's Bill Withers

microwave.gif



what's black and screams?

stevie wonder answering the iron. scream.gif

cheers


pete
 

TINY

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Scientists have just discovered that beer has female horemones in it.
The test went as follows:
three men drank four pints of lager each,,,suddenly they all started talking sh1te,put weight on and couldn`t drive anymore.[:D][:p]






Now this is how you start a war Trogg.lol[;)][:D]

Andy.
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Trevski

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Two peanuts walking down the road.

One was assaulted.

[:p]


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Slick

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Heard this one today which tickled my funny bone

A englishman emigrates to Australia looking for work, he's there a few weeks and calls into a bar for a drink, the barman asks the englishman what he doing in the outback. I'm a taxidermist he says,the barman asks if hes doing much. Certainly am he replies last week I stuffed three kangaroos and four koala bears.

Good going cobber says the barman.

After the englishman left the bar, one of the locals asks the barman whats the pommie do then.

He's a taxi driver mate, but he's just like one of the lads replies the barman.

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Newt

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A guy stops to visit his friend who is paralyzed from the waist down. His friend says, "My feet are cold. Would you get me my sneakers for me?"

The guy goes upstairs, and there are his friend's two gorgeous daughters.

He says, "Hi, girls. Your dad sent me up here to make love to you."

The first daughter says, "That's not true."

He says, "I'll prove it." He yells down the stairs, "Both of them?"

His friend yells back, "Of course, both of them."

Newt Vail, Concord, NC. USA
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davidsenior

15/03/03 - 22/06/16
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Nice one slick, I'm a TAXI DRIVER, but I don't touch Kangaroos or Koalas, but I guess I'm just like one of the lads.

catch you later, tight lines, dave....
 

Larry

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good jokes made me laugh
Trogg i told you keep that a secretabout me an that 18yr old but you got the name right but the age wrong

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Anyone who stops learning is old.
Wether at 20 or 80.
Anyone who keeps learning stays young.
Cheer's Larry AKA as toma say's Shimano Man The Tackle Tart
 

Trogg

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the new vicar goes to see the oldest member of his parish to see if she needs spiritual guidence.

At 107 the old lady was as bright & sharp as any 20yr old but he didn't know this.

he sits down at her bedside & talks to her as if she's senile so she decides to play along, after a few minutes she offers the vicar some of the peanuts on her bedside table, he gladly accepts & starts to munch his way through them.

After 20 mins the bowl is empty so she asks him if he enjoyed them, he replies rather ashamed "yes i did & i'm trribly sorry but i've eaten them all2, the old lady looks at the vicar & with an evil smirk says "n thats ok, with me having no teeth i can only suck the chocolate of them before i have to swallow the things whole, of course when they come out the other end i just pop them into that bowl & get the nurse to chuck them out the window for the birds to enjoy" [:D]


Alan
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Slick

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Originally posted by davidsenior

I'm a TAXI DRIVER, but I don't touch Kangaroos or Koalas, but I guess I'm just like one of the lads.
Not a lot of marsupials in yorkshire eh and Flamingo land have sussed you out not to worry plenty of sheep arround the moors LOL [:p][:p][:p]

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