Jokes

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Geoff P

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I have been trying to get a couple of jokes onto the jokes page but I keep getting some b****** message coming up and I can't submit them. So I thought, just for that you can have em on here.

*****

Bill Clinton was walking down the road when he saw ET coming towards him. As ET passed Bill he spat in his face.
Hey said Bill, thats disgusting. Use a handkerchief.
No hankie, said ET.
Look in your trouser pockets for it, said Bill.
No trousers, said ET.
No trousers, said Bill. He then walked round ET and said, youre not wearing trousers. I cant see your bum or willie. How do you go to toilet?
ET spat in Bills face and walked on.

********

George Bush was sitting on a beach, in the West Indies, sunning himself when out of the water came the most beautiful woman, dressed in a wet suit.
She ambled up to George and said, Would you like a drink?
Yes please, said George.
The girl undid a zip over her left breast and pulled out a bottle of brandy and a glass. She poured George a drink and asked him. Would you like a smoke?
You dont have a Havana cigar do you? asked George.
The girl undid a zip over her right breast and pulled out a big Cuban cigar and a lighter.
George lay back on his reclining chair, sipping his brandy and smoking his cigar thoroughly enjoying himself.
Do you want to play around? asked the young lady.
George sat upright in his chair and said, yes please.
The girl slowly unzipped the main zip on her wet suit, showing off her golden tanned body and then PULLED OUT A SET OF GOLF CLUBS

*************

A Welshman, Englishman and a West Indian were all sitting together in the waiting room of the maternity ward of the local hospital.
The midwife came in to the room and said, Congratulations, you have all become fathers but unfortunately the babies have got mixed up.
As she finished speaking the Welshman rushed out of the waiting room and into the nursery.
The midwife walked in and saw him cuddling a really dark skinned baby, obviously not his.
Are you sure that baby is yours? asked the midwife.
Itll do for me, said the Welshman. At least its not English.

I apolgise dave,you can move em if you want.

Geoff
If it swims, catch it.

Edited by - Geoff P on 21 January 2002 8:03:18 PM
 

waxlion1

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Jan 9, 2002
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geoff

Lose the ? / "" , and such like. edit them with "Word" copy and paste to jokes page.

Trust me I know!...


Waxlion1
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