Joke of the day.

Peter

'Mugger'
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A couple and their young son went on a holiday at a hotel next to a nudist beach...

The young son came back to the hotel and said, "Wow, Mum! You should see some of those girls. They've got these HUGE..."
"Yes, well," his mother sniffs. "The larger they are, the dumber the woman."

Next day the boy comes back to the hotel again. "You wouldn't believe some of the guys out there. They have these HUGE..."
"Yes, well, like I said, the bigger they are, the dumber the man."
"Really?" the boy said, frowning with puzzlement. "We might be in trouble, Mum."
"Why, honey?"
"Because Dad's out there talking to a really dumb girl, and he's getting dumber by the minute."
 

Dogbert

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304804689_5524604077576532_7050820262335615379_n.jpg
 

Peter

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A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.
"I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!"
"Oh God no!" cries the man. "My golfing is over! Please Doc, what's the good news?"
"The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman's arm. I'll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant."
"Go for it doc" says the man. "As long as I can play golf again."
The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon.
"Hi, how's the new arm?" asks the surgeon.
"Just great," says the businessman. "I'm playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved."
"That's great," said the surgeon.
"Not only that," continued the golfer, "my handwriting has improved, I've learned how to sew my own clothes and I've even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors."
"Unbelievable!" said the surgeon, "I'm so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?"
"Well, just one problem," said the golfer. "Every time I get an erection, I also get a headache."
 

Dogbert

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A man walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Do you have a book about Pavlovs dog and Schrodinger’s cat?" The librarian replied that it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if if was there or not.
 

The Landlord

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A guy and his wife came up to me in the shopping centre today and said, "Excuse me, do you know where we can find Pets at Home?" I said, "Have you tried looking under the bed?"
 

Rich51

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I walked past a pet shop with a sign saying "pedigree Netherlands cats for sale"
So I went in and asked
" how Dutch is that moggy in the window?"
 

PJG

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Nov 15, 2018
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The above joke is so awful but I must admit I did laugh. It reminded me of the idiot who bought what he thought was a Dutch mountain dog.....
 
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