Joke of the day.

Arry

Aitch, Cantankerous old gimmer with "Views"
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Nov 30, 2015
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The other night while my son was doing his homework, he said to me dad what's the difference between PROBABILITY and FACT.

Being a practical kind of dad, I said go and ask your mother if she would sleep with the postman for a million pounds ,he came back and said yes she would .

Right I said ,now go and ask your big sister if she would sleep with the milkman for a million pounds, he came back and said yes she would.

So there you have it son ,in all PROBABILITY as a family ,we are sitting on assets of two million pounds .

But in actual FACT ,we're living with two slappers.
 

Peter

'Mugger'
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Two wives go out for girls night.
Both got drunk, started walking home and had to pee.
They stopped at a cemetery but had nothing to wipe with.
One used her panties the other grabbed a wreath off a grave.
The next morning one husband called the other and said, "no more girls night out! my wife came back with no panties."
The other husband said, "you think that's bad? mine came back with a card in her crack that read "from all of us at the fire station... we'll never forget you"!! ....
 

warrington63

Exiled Northerner
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IMG-20220427-WA0000.jpg
 

Chris Calder

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Dec 16, 2008
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Mum comes home after a week away,
And asks 10 year old daughter how her and dad had coped while she was away
Little girl says, daddy had a strange woman over and they went upstairs to the bedroom
Really ,says mum,wait til daddy gets home and you can tell me then
Dad arrives home and mum asks daughter to recount the whole story In front of him
Daughter says, well they went upstairs ,so I crept up as well to see what they were doing , they went into the bedroom And I peeped through the keyhole
Go on said mum, they started kissing then daddy took her clothes off
What happened next said mum ,daddy undressed and got on the bed with her
And what did they do then asked mum
The same as you and uncle dave did the week daddy was away in Scotland ,
Replied the girl
 

CarpCatcher86

Regular member
Joined
Jun 25, 2018
Messages
1,590
The other night while my son was doing his homework, he said to me dad what's the difference between PROBABILITY and FACT.

Being a practical kind of dad, I said go and ask your mother if she would sleep with the postman for a million pounds ,he came back and said yes she would .

Right I said ,now go and ask your big sister if she would sleep with the milkman for a million pounds, he came back and said yes she would.

So there you have it son ,in all PROBABILITY as a family ,we are sitting on assets of two million pounds .

But in actual FACT ,we're living with two slappers.
The owd ens are the best uns eh bud? (y)
 

Rich51

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Jun 9, 2010
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489
BREAKING NEWS
Police are looking for a thief who stole a book about Stradivarius.
They have advised members of the public not to approach him because he has a history of violins
 

banksy

Life Member
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Jul 8, 2003
Messages
13,335
Just wondering whether I might have royal connections.
After partaking of Spanky’s chili vodka at the Hartleton fish-ins, I definitely experienced ‘episodic mobility problems’.
😳
 
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