Nobice and Inventor of W@nkles.
- Aug 12, 2006
The man who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.
A la Jethro 1995 ish !I have just had an interesting conversation with a chum of mine in the Duke of Wellington. He has been away most of the year on assignment with his job as a specialist arid regions surveyor; he has just managed to escape Australia where he has spent most of the year in the Great Victoria Desert.
He is known as a lad-about-town, plenty of women, a different one for every month it sometimes seems.
So I asked him how he managed his libido when marooned in the middle of nowhere, where civilisation and even other people are a distant dream.
"I had to put my sex drive on total shutdown", he explained; "in fact I only had one sexual experience the whole time I was out there".
We didn't allow him to rest there; he was forced to divulge the exact details of this one liaison.
"That part of Australia has a population of feral ostriches" he explained. "I spotted one with its head buried in the sand, so I-"
The pub had fallen silent. What in God's name was he about to divulge?!
" I tiptoed up behind it - I'm sorry, I was so horny that I would have shagged anything by that stage"
"Don't tell us you shagged an ostrich!" we chorused.
"As I said, I was so horny......"
When the full horror of this confession had sunk home, our curiosity overcame us.
"Go on - what was it like shagging an ostrich?"
"It was great for the first couple of miles, but then I got out of step".