Joke of the day.

The Landlord

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Jul 26, 2018
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5,171
Fella gets a phone call from the coastguard.
Coastguard: "Mr Jones - sorry to inform you we've just pulled your wife's body out of the sea. It's not very pleasant....she's even got a couple of lobsters attached to her. What would you like us to do?
Mr Jones: "You have one, I'll have the other & we'll put her out again tonight"
 

Whisker

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Nov 6, 2013
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Waiter! Waiter! What’s this fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: Looks like the backstroke, Sir…
 

Fugley-fisher

Fishing the stour dorset, most probably!
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Apr 13, 2020
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@Dave can something be done about @Godber absolutely awful jokes being posted that's another 3 minuets of my life I've wasted, it's just to harsh to put @Godber on ignor there bad not offensive and I'm sure he means we'll and is a perfectly affable chap but the jokes are awful. Please please have a word 🙏
 

Sportsman

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May 9, 2008
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A guy is on a flight to Spain and, as you do, he turns and speaks to the young guy sitting next to him
"Off on your holidays then"?
" Yes, I go every year"
"Are you on your own"
"No, I'm with my twin brother, John"
The guy leans across to say hello to John, and the he realises that the two young men are, in fact, Siamese twins, joined from shoulder to hip. A bit intrigued he asks
"So, are you going for all the cheap booze then"?
"No, we don't really drink"
"So are you going to eye up all the pretty girls on the beach then"?
"No, it's a bit awkward really"
" So why are you going then"?
"Well, it's the only chance John gets to drive the car"
 
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