In the beginning

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Newt

'Lures Rule!!'
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In the beginning...

God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds,so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then Satan created Ben and Jerry's and Krispy Kreme.

And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"

And Man and Woman said "Yeah, and another one with sprinkles. " And they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane, and combined them.

And woman went from size 3 to size 9. So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing and garlic toast on the side. And man and woman had to unfasten their belts.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big It needed its own platter.

And man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. God then brought running shoes so that his children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so man would not have to toil changing the channels. And man and woman watched TV and gained more pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And man and woman gained another ten pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that man and woman might consume fewer calories and still satisfy their appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and it's 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And man replied, "Yea! And super size 'em." And Satan said "It is good." And man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

And Satan created National Health.





Newt Vail
 

Larry

Lazarus
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Very good Newt So true & apt even for this side of the water




Anyone who stops learning is old.
Wether at 20 or 80.
Anyone who keeps learning stays young.
Cheer's Larry AKA as toma say's Shimano Man The Tackle Tart
 

Peter

'Mugger'
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ROFLMAO[:D][}:)][:D][}:)][:D][}:)]

Peter.

Make Friends,
Go Maggotdrowning.
 

Dave

Red Leader
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Lol Newt [:D]

..is it true that a family has launched a lawsuit against McDonalds alledging that their obesity was as a result of eating McD's fast food?
It's just something I had heard, and apparently the basis of their claim is that there were no 'Ingredients' listed on the packaging that detailed the fat content.

.... and this isn't a joke [:)]



Dave
 

Trogg

the bouncer
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Dave

A group of obese teenagers in the states have tried to sue maccy dees but their case has been thrown out by the US judges [:D]

The one image i always have come in my head when anybody talks about god & creation is of Adam lying on the floor screaming in pain with blood pouring from his side, looking towards heaven he shouts "what the f*** is a woman??????"

Alan


There's a monster outside my window..can i have a glass of water?
 

TINY

Tiny
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God said....I bring you pain,anguish,humiliation and stress.
Henceforth...woman was created.[:D]

Andy.
 
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