I though you'd enjoy this one

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Polepot

Poles
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One day God calls down to Noah and says,

"Noah me old mucker, I want you to make me a new Ark".
Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being, anything you want,
after all you're the guv'... But God interrupts,
"Ah, but there's a catch. This time Noah, I don't just want a couple of decks, . . I want 20 decks,one on top of the other".
"20 DECKS!", screams Noah. "Well, OK Big Man, whatever you say. Should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?"
"Yep, that's right, well . . sort of right . . this time I want you to fill it up with fish", God answers.
"Fish?", queries Noah
"Yep, fish . . .well, to make it more specific Noah, I want carp -
wall to wall, floor to ceiling -Carp!"
Noah looks to the skies. "OK God my old mucker, let me get this right, you want a New Ark?"
"Check".
"With 20 decks, one on top of the other?".
"Check".
"And you want it full of Carp?".
"Check".
"Why?" asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely getting to
the end of his tether ............



"Dunno", says God, "I just fancied a Multi-Storey Carp Ark".

Poles


Great info, great guys, great fun, thats Maggot Drowners
 
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haydn.borthwick

09/05/02 - 28/01/07
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Thats goog...bloody good Well done m8...Haydn





Take nothing but memories, leave nothing but footprints.
 

Geoff P

The MOGerator
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COMPUTER v CAR

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM (General Motors) had kept up with technology like the computer
industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to
the gallon".

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars
with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a
new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.


4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.


5. Macintosh would make a car th! at was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.


6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.


7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.


8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.


Geoff

Clean Banks Campaign member
 

Del-J

' Victor '
Joined
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Messages
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Nice one young Geoff [:D][:D][:D].

Del

Not fishing? Then talk to your mates on M/Ds.
 
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