I admit this one is very bad.

Status
Not open for further replies.

Beebs

Regular member
Joined
May 30, 2002
Messages
3,814
There are these two blokes who have been lost in the desert for weeks and they're at death's door. As they stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something similar, they suddenly spy, through the heat haze, a tree off in the distance. As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly-raw bacon, all sorts.

"My God, Pepe" says the first bloke. "It's a bacon tree !!! We're saved!!!"

"You're right" says Pepe, "Praise the Lord!"
So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But as he gets to within five feet of the tree, there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets. His mate quickly drops down on the sand, and calls across to the dying Pepe. "Pepe, Pepe - what the hell happened?".... With his dying breath Pepe calls out ... .Ugh, run , run ! ... it wasn't a Bacon Tree it was a Ham Bush
 

Newt

'Lures Rule!!'
Joined
Jan 19, 2002
Messages
1,385
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

"How was he killed?" asked one detective.

"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.

"A golf gun? What is a golf gun?"

"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."


Newt Vail, Concord, NC. USA
Datafile3.asp
 

Larry

Lazarus
Joined
Dec 4, 2001
Messages
10,575
There bad but not heard them before.


Datafile2.asp


Anyone who stops learning is old.
Wether at 20 or 80.
Anyone who keeps learning stays young.
Cheer's Larry AKA as toma say's Shimano Man The Tackle Tart
 

snakey

PAA COACH
Joined
Oct 1, 2002
Messages
510
There`s bad and there`s bad and believe me they`re bad

Datafile2.asp


SNAKEY`S NOT PLAYING GOLF YET
 

Newt

'Lures Rule!!'
Joined
Jan 19, 2002
Messages
1,385
On the contrary gents. There are much worse ones out there.

What would you call a Mexican tortilla filled with shark meat - mako taco

And Mexican tortillas filled with Japanense octopus sashimi - tako tacos

How about a real classic groaner (but not staying on the Mexican theme)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana

Newt Vail, Concord, NC. USA
Datafile3.asp
 

Apache

Regular member
Joined
Dec 11, 2002
Messages
1,611
Thats bad!

.........................
Tight Lines,
Matt headbang.gif beer-toast1.gif firedevil.gif DJ.gif alcoholic2.gif ladiesman.gif

DataFile.asp

Heathlands Angling Club - http://www.heathlandsanglingclub.8m.com
 

Newt

'Lures Rule!!'
Joined
Jan 19, 2002
Messages
1,385
'Pache - thanks for the compliment. When it comes to puns, bad is good. And worse is even better. Completely horrible is about as good as it gets. [:D]

A do it yourself orthodontist says, "Brace yourself!"

What's the difference between Noah's ark and Joan of Arc?
One is made of wood and the other is Maid of Orleans.

A noted biologist, who had been studying little green frogs in a swamp, was stumped. The frog population, despite efforts at predator control, was declining at an alarming rate. A chemist at a nearby college came up with a solution: The frogs, due to a chemical change in the swamp water, simply couldn't stay coupled long enough to reproduce successfully. The chemist then brewed up a new adhesive to assist the frogs' togetherness, which included one part sodium. It seems the little green frogs needed some monosodium glue to mate.




Newt Vail, Concord, NC. USA
Datafile3.asp
 

Dave

Red Leader
Staff member
Site Supporter
Joined
Aug 8, 2001
Messages
65,119
Good grief what's the world coming to - roll on the start of the new season [:D]

Dave
Datafile2.asp
 

Newt

'Lures Rule!!'
Joined
Jan 19, 2002
Messages
1,385
Now Dave - just trying to bring a touch of class to the forum. [:p]


Census taker: How many children do you have?
Woman: Four.
Census taker: May I have their names, please?
Woman: Eenie, Meenie, Minie and George.
Census taker: Okay, that's fine. But may I ask why you named your fourth child George?
Woman: Because we didn't want any Mo.

~~~~~

Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

~~~~~

Birds are grouchy in the morning because their bills are over dew.

~~~~~

Newt Vail, Concord, NC. USA
Datafile3.asp
 
Last edited:

Apache

Regular member
Joined
Dec 11, 2002
Messages
1,611
Like I said, thats bad!

.........................
Tight Lines,
Matt headbang.gif beer-toast1.gif firedevil.gif DJ.gif alcoholic2.gif ladiesman.gif

DataFile.asp

Heathlands Angling Club - http://www.heathlandsanglingclub.8m.com
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top