Hemp + Tired angler + Angling Times = ?

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Trevski

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Sep 2, 2002
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552
Okay, I'll set the scene.

5:00am - Stumble out of bed and punch alarm.
get dressed and stagger downstairs, cursing,
but safe in the knowledge that the tacke is
packed up and ready to go and all I have to
do is boil the hemp that I left soaking from
yesterday.

5:30am Hemp goes into the pan with the water
covering it by about half an inch and the
stove put on at about a third heat to simmer
it nicely. Hemp begins to simmer, loverly.
Sit down and start to read Angling times.

Wake to hear Wife screaming downstairs, "WHAT
IS THAT SMELL? AND WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?"

Sniff, Glance at clock.

8:15am NOOOOO!!! The smell is appalling in
the front room, dash to the kitchen, open the
door and....

Greeted with a solid wall of thick brown smoke
I cover my mouth and venture in, I grab the pan
and run outside with it, hearing a sizzling sound
a few times as I go.

Its now that I realise my two mistakes.

1. Didn't open kitchen window.
2. Left hemp simmering and fell asleep.

I look down at the pan and notice its dropping
out of the bottom of the pan onto the lawn below.
How? Yes, the pan has melted! I back to the kitchen
through the conservatory and see what the sizzling
sound was.. Molten pan metal dripping onto the floor
leaving horrible burn marks. NOOO!!! I'm dead.

I venture into the kitchen and nearly slip flat on
my face. I look down, the floor is covered with a
thick brown sludge, I look up. NOOOOOOOOooooooOOO!!
everything is covered in it. I open the cupboards,
tins of food, cups, pans, EVERYTHING is covered.

I did no fishing that day.

I cleaned the kitchen from 8:30am til 11:00pm.
I used 3 bottles of Flash and 2 bottles of Frebreeze.
It still stinks.
The whole house stinks.

My father-inlaw calls round and tells my wife that it
will probably take at least a MONTH for the smell to
ease and probably THREE to go completely. He should
know he used to be a fireman.

If you have read my tale, take heed.

NEVER READ THE ANGLING TIMES WHILST BOILING HEMP!!





ps. The worst thing? What was I cursing my luck about all day?
I didn't get to go fishing. icon_smile_wink.gif










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If only it were this simple...
 

Dave

Red Leader
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62,403
Excellent Trevski, reading that has made my day




Things can only get better, lol

Dave
 

MALC

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Messages
6,350
Brilliant Trevski




Malc
Fish with Friends @ MaggotDrowning.com
 

AlanP

'EastAngler'
Joined
Jul 4, 2002
Messages
683
Nice one Trevski,


I suggest all of us with partners who pass adverse comments when we boil hemp etc. in "their" kitchen should print this out and have it handy for the next time when we can show it to them and say "well it could be a lot worse..."


In my house at least that would be an appropriate time to make a hasty exit icon_smile_big.gif


PS - Probably wasn't just your Fishing Tackle that didn't see any action that day I would have thought icon_smile_evil.gif

AlanP

Edited by - AlanP on 16 September 2002 11:31:41 AM
 

Trevski

Regular member
Joined
Sep 2, 2002
Messages
552
Glad you enjoyed it!!

May as well spread a little happiness through
my own misfortune (blind stupidity more like!) icon_smile_blush.gif

Anyway, If you're reading this Mr John Wilson
i'm blaming you for this completely icon_smile_wink.gif




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If only it were this simple...
 

Ziptrev

05/10/01 - 18/10/02
In Memoriam
Joined
Oct 5, 2001
Messages
1,482
I am developing a new theory, that everyone with the letters T R E and V cosecutively in their names, has an innate propensity for disaster!

Nice one Trevski and welcome to the 'Cock-up' club

Cheers

Trev

Ziptrev
Enough! I'm off!
 

Steve

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Aug 28, 2002
Messages
295
Sorry Trevski but that is one of the funniest things I have heard in a long time. Even my wife had a giggle.
 

norm

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Mar 17, 2002
Messages
10,596
nice one trevski

i have stunk the house out a few times (boiling hemp)icon_smile_evil.gif

but never had enything as bad as that happen

made me laugh thoicon_smile_big.gif

see yas later
norm
 
G

Guest

Guest
Trevski, Trevski
, you have just made my day mate.


RAFLMAO


i'm going to bait up
Andy
 

AndyA

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Joined
Aug 25, 2002
Messages
414
Nice one... that beats my Maggots loose in the fridge ..icon_smile_big.gificon_smile_big.gificon_smile_blackeye.gificon_smile_blackeye.gif
 

martin.

Account Locked
Joined
Jan 24, 2002
Messages
1
GOOD ONE LOL
Just goes to show how Mr Wilson can send anyone to sleep

tight lines.
martin.
talk fishing flip football
 

Trevski

Regular member
Joined
Sep 2, 2002
Messages
552
Thanks folks!

I'm glad i've brightened your day icon_smile_blush.gif

I'll expect you all to take the p**s royal
at the fish-in. icon_smile_shy.gif heh.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If only it were this simple...
 
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