Doctor,doctor

[160642fishing]

Bloke goes to the doctor complaining about his bowel movements,doctor asks all the usual questions about diet etc and the bloke tells him that he has a balanced diet,loads of veg etc,the doc then asks how regular he moves his bowels,usually three times a day he says,first one about 8 o clock in the morning,well there's nothing wrong with that says the doc,yes there is says the bloke,I don't get up till 8,30.

 

[The Landlord]

Bloke goes into the doctor & said "I keep thinking I'm a moth"
Doctor says, "You need a psychiatrist, why did you come to me?"
Bloke says" Your light was on"

 

[gingert76]

can we have a groan emoji on the like button please lol

 

[RedhillPhil]

I keep thinking that I'm a dog.
Okay, just lie on the couch.
I'm not allowed on the couch.



My brother thinks that he's an orange.
Good heavens, I must see him. Where is he?
In my pocket.

I'm here all week

 

[timber]

i went to my doctors and he said "ive not seen you for a long time" i said "no ive been ill"

 

[carphauler]

Still waiting for the classic one,

 

[RedhillPhil]

I keep seeing spots before my eyes.
Have you seen a doctor?
No, only spots.

 

[Dave]

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains

Pull yourself together son

 

[Yuccaman]

Doctor, doctor, I think there's a steering wheel in my pants... it's driving me nuts

 

[160642fishing]

Doctor, doctor,I think I'm a pair of pliers,get a grip of yourself said the doctor.

 

[baldpaul]

Knock knock
Who’s there?
A pile up.


My kids loved that one.

 

[Warden]

Still waiting for the classic one,

Well don't do it !

just like that.

 

[mickthestick]

Doctor Doctor , you said I would be dead in 10 , 10 what Years , Months ?

9, 8 ,7, 6 ......

 

[Stephen]

I phoned the doctors for an appointment.
Receptionist said "how about 10 tomorrow?"
I said "I don't need that many"

 

[Stephen]

Doctor doctor! I feel like a dog.
How long have you felt like
Since I was a puppy.

 

[robert d]

Bloke goes to the doctor complaining about his bowel movements,doctor asks all the usual questions about diet etc and the bloke tells him that he has a balanced diet,loads of veg etc,the doc then asks how regular he moves his bowels,usually three times a day he says,first one about 8 o clock in the morning,well there's nothing wrong with that says the doc,yes there is says the bloke,I don't get up till 8,30.

Doctor ,doctor everyone keeps ignoring me............doctor shouts next