Coming off my meds

[Zerkalo]

One part of the story I missed out was that I ran away from home to escape what was happening to me on the internet a year or two before I was sectioned.

I checked into a hotel in Worcester for a few days without telling anyone (until police tracked me down). Was not getting on with my family at that point as I had bigger things going on... being targeted by security services and knowing about it is no light matter whatever your circumstances but they came down on me Super Oligarch style in my parents house bedroom.

I tried telling mates and the first assumption is that you're mentally ill... why would they target you? Which is reasonable. No reasonable mind would say that the British Government goes after online trolls.

I now get on with my family much better as I told them when I was sectioned that some big stuff happened to me and that was why I was withdrawing from life... I think it is them and being closer to them that helps me as much as the meds... which are a good mood stabiliser as I was living livid.

 

[Wrongfoot]

You might be better being cautious about going into detail here, although it probably feels a safe space. If you were really tracked once then you still may be and you might be better not providing any data for bad actors to act upon.

Also the world is full of stuff like JTRIG and far worse. As much as it's everyone's job to call that out it's also not anyone's job to do so loudly and alone. You don't "have" to do so anymore and you may have more to lose than most if you don't let it go.

I say this not to encourage paranoia, but rather a sense of closure privately and publicly and for you to focus zen like on a future without all that went before. Fishing is good for that puts you calmly in the now...

 

[SeanB]

Hope it all goes well for you mate, anything I can ever help with just ask.

 

[Zerkalo]

Just read this - you may be interested

How Covert Agents Infiltrate the Internet to Manipulate, Deceive, and Destroy Reputations

One of the many pressing stories that remains to be told from the Snowden archive is how western intelligence agencies are attempting to manipulate and control online discourse with extreme tactics of deception and reputation-destruction.

theintercept.com

All of that is true but that and even the wiki page makes it sound like they don't go after 'civilians' but only state threats. There was basically a reason behind Snowden and Greenwald disclosures but it only tells half of the story. You will notice MI5/6 have started talking about what they call their 'customers'... states it as so on the JTRIG wiki page... but does not mention quite how far their reach into the private sector such as news organisations they really mean.

You might be better being cautious about going into detail here, although it probably feels a safe space. If you were really tracked once then you still may be and you might be better not providing any data for bad actors to act upon.

I say this not to encourage paranoia, but rather a sense of closure privately and publicly and for you to focus zen like on a future without all that went before. Fishing is good for that puts you calmly in the now...

You're right. There's only so much I can realistically say about what happened to me but part of me feels like... I feel like I've already had the 'treatment' from them, and if it happened again... I would handle myself differently.

Blew my chance of ever working for them anyway.

 

[drw]

Cheers mate. Good to get off my chest now and again but is only really half of the story.

I can well imagine mate you look after yourself , hopefully meet you at Chard !

 

[Total]

@Zerkalo....Be prepared when you see your nurse to be told you will be slowly weened off your medication over a period of time, probably something like three months.....It is very dangerous to stop taking these powerful medications completely as one would become very ill mentally and in some cases physically

Be prepared for the odd setback but in the long term you'll feel the benefits....Very important you tell your nurse of any changes both mentally and physically and keep in regular contact with them....

 

[Zerkalo]

I'll see what the shrink says! To be honest I feel like I can control the outcome if I wanted by not being honest and presenting myself in a certain way should I wish. There's things I know I should or shouldn't say if I want to be perceived as recovered if that makes sense.

 

[Godber]

Good luck Z, plenty of us here if you need a hand

 

[minkyandbear]

Steve, we have posted via PM about getting on the bank. Now it is the time time to do so. Drop me a line anytime and we well get out on the the bank. I am off to Shatterford this week so maybe this could be a venue?

 

[Total]

I'll see what the shrink says! To be honest I feel like I can control the outcome if I wanted by not being honest and presenting myself in a certain way should I wish. There's things I know I should or shouldn't say if I want to be perceived as recovered if that makes sense.

Of course you have to do things as you see fit with your medical team's advice....We are obviously not privy to all the facts and don't need to be this is very much your private business ('two sides to every story' etc etc.

My wife and I have experienced this what you'll be going through a number of times with our Twins and I wasn't trying to pry into you private business but rather hoping you'd benefit from our experiences.....

You come across as a decent young man and I very much wish you all the very best with the next transition in your life....Be well fella...........Be ORANGE!

 

[OldTaff]

From personal experience I can say coming off meds is a tricky beggar to deal with mate - my mum is now 78 and was, until the age of 60, undiagnosed bipolar right up to suicide attempt #3 when she voluntarily went into a psych unit (knowing if she didn’t she’d be sectioned) and getting a decent psychiatric referral with proper care & follow up.

They've tried to take her off meds a few times but she crashes spectacularly when they do and it’s accepted that she’ll be on them until the day she dies but she’s happy with that.


After recovering from my breakdown I found withdrawal a right ba@&#rd and realistically I took me maybe 12 months to eventually come off my meds and that was with a massive support network of health professionals and friends who had been there too.


Irrespective of how you got where you are Steve just take it slow and easy coming off because the payback can be a bitch mate.

 

[carphauler]

Good luck mate, I've had my demons as well, if you ever need to talk drop me a message and we'll meet up, I think you'll be fine though,

 

[Zerkalo]

Steve, we have posted via PM about getting on the bank. Now it is the time time to do so. Drop me a line anytime and we well get out on the the bank. I am off to Shatterford this week so maybe this could be a venue?

Wednesday or Thursday would be spot on for me mate. Work tomorrow, haircut Tuesday... free those days! I'll have to send a PM.

 

[Chris Calder]

My brother was diagnosed with schizophrenia when he was 19, he is now 52, it's a disaster when coming off these powerful medications without supervision from the doctors, he thinks quite often he does not need them ,but that's not the case.

Always come of meds under doctors supervision.

I wish you all the best Zerkalo coming off the meds, but always listen to family members if they think you should visit the doctors and maybe go back on meds.
Good luck with it.

 

[Team KDB]

@Zerkalo…Steve you could always go to the car boot with your family and look for some ”Orange"

If you feel you need help and your family are telling you to get help after coming down off that medication,then do so quickly.

If you can set up a Midlands pellet waggler knock up in the summer i will try and get over.

 

[Zerkalo]

I reckon it will likely be staggered how it happens, but I'm pretty keen to say that was then and this is now. Thanks for all the support. I've been in a much better place since my arrest than I was for the 3 years prior and put a lot of that down to improved family relationships down to a better attitude on my part.

 

[minkyandbear]

Wednesday or Thursday would be spot on for me mate. Work tomorrow, haircut Tuesday... free those days! I'll have to send a PM.

Hi Steve, you have a PM on its way.

 

[AndyUnderwood]

Zerkalo.... all the best of luck. Take your time...... and be honest with yourself.

 

[rudd]

On a lighter note, do you know anything about these?:

 

[smiffy]

As someone who’s lost a stepchild to mental illness and is now coping with the repercussions of that loss and the reasons behind it on her mother, my partner, I wish you the best.
My advice, listen to your nurse, therapist, doctor, whatever. The chances are they know best and the safest route off your meds.
Good luck to ya fella