Chuffed with myself

tipitinmick

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Some try mate but they don’t get far without sulking off ??
My misses says that she would pay to see me in with a shrink. She says .... " I know who would run out of the room screaming and pulling their hair out and it wouldn't be you Michael " I don't know what she means. ?
 

Wise Owl

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Mate our Gert reckons theres not a shrink Qualified enough to see what goes on in my head.
 

Trogg

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When i was a kid i had "anger issues" and a "problem with figures of authority" so they stuck me in with a "child psychologist" to try and find out why i behaved in such a disruptive and angry manner (basically it's cos i was a nasty little b**tard)

Anyway this bespectacled old timer starts with all the usual "tell me about your feelings" claptrap, he then decides to insult me and gives me a block sorting exercise, he goes out the room to fetch a cup of tea, comes back and lil dainty ol troggy is sat there grinning like a chesire cat.
He took one look at the block sorter and starts telling me i have them all in the wrong order...i points out that any idiot can fit them in the right places...but a genius can fit them in the wrong ones.

All i'll say is, God bless Dr Marten and their amazing school shoes ;)
 

tipitinmick

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When i was a kid i had "anger issues" and a "problem with figures of authority" so they stuck me in with a "child psychologist" to try and find out why i behaved in such a disruptive and angry manner (basically it's cos i was a nasty little b**tard)

Anyway this bespectacled old timer starts with all the usual "tell me about your feelings" claptrap, he then decides to insult me and gives me a block sorting exercise, he goes out the room to fetch a cup of tea, comes back and lil dainty ol troggy is sat there grinning like a chesire cat.
He took one look at the block sorter and starts telling me i have them all in the wrong order...i points out that any idiot can fit them in the right places...but a genius can fit them in the wrong ones.

All i'll say is, God bless Dr Marten and their amazing school shoes ;)
40 years down the road and Im still finding Ox blood boot polish in various cupbards and drawers. Dr Martens, the perfect boot for a good scrap. ?
 

Trogg

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40 years down the road and Im still finding Ox blood boot polish in various cupbards and drawers. Dr Martens, the perfect boot for a good scrap. ?

>whispers cos she's sat across the room<

Just bought the wife some "red" Docs to go with all her other colours ;)
 

The Ginger Bread Man

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When i was a kid i had "anger issues" and a "problem with figures of authority" so they stuck me in with a "child psychologist" to try and find out why i behaved in such a disruptive and angry manner (basically it's cos i was a nasty little b**tard)

Anyway this bespectacled old timer starts with all the usual "tell me about your feelings" claptrap, he then decides to insult me and gives me a block sorting exercise, he goes out the room to fetch a cup of tea, comes back and lil dainty ol troggy is sat there grinning like a chesire cat.
He took one look at the block sorter and starts telling me i have them all in the wrong order...i points out that any idiot can fit them in the right places...but a genius can fit them in the wrong ones.

All i'll say is, God bless Dr Marten and their amazing school shoes ;)
We've just bought Rosie these for her fourth birthday ?
 

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Trogg

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@The Ginger Bread Man you are a wonderful father Jon :)

Just give it another 12 years and see if she does like my mates daughter did, he was busy working and couldn't think of what to get his daughter for her 16th, she said "i want a new pair of docs to go out in" so he gave her his card and told her to go buy a pair she liked.

She came back from shopping, handed him his card and went upstairs, two nights later she was going out with her friends to a gig and as she walked downstairs Ned looks over and sees a pair of legs encased in docs...knee high docs , the legs had fishnets on and a tiny leather miniskirt at the top of the legs...i can't remember his exact words but it was something like "i nearly choked on my tea Trogg, she looked liked a f*****g hooker, told her if she were wearing them then she were puttin on jeans" they had a blazing row and she storms off upstairs to come down wearing black jeans, he wasn't happy that they looked like they'd been sprayed on but he let her go out.

When she came home, she was a "bit p***ed" and giggly, he couldn't complain cos we used to get a lot worse but then he realised..she wasn't wearing her jeans she was wearing the miniskirt...crafty little bit** had stuffed her miniskirt in her bag and changed it when she got to her friends house but because she'd been drinkign she'd forgot to change it back :blahblah::blahblah:

The funniest part was when he checked his card statement, she'd used his card to buy the skirt and the fishnets along with her new docs.... the docs had cost him over £200 on their own , he's never trusted her with his card again :roflmao::roflmao:

You'll have it worse cos you'll have your daughter AND mrs going shopping together mate....you'd better start saving now :blahblah::blahblah:
 

tipitinmick

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@The Ginger Bread Man you are a wonderful father Jon :)

Just give it another 12 years and see if she does like my mates daughter did, he was busy working and couldn't think of what to get his daughter for her 16th, she said "i want a new pair of docs to go out in" so he gave her his card and told her to go buy a pair she liked.

She came back from shopping, handed him his card and went upstairs, two nights later she was going out with her friends to a gig and as she walked downstairs Ned looks over and sees a pair of legs encased in docs...knee high docs , the legs had fishnets on and a tiny leather miniskirt at the top of the legs...i can't remember his exact words but it was something like "i nearly choked on my tea Trogg, she looked liked a f*****g hooker, told her if she were wearing them then she were puttin on jeans" they had a blazing row and she storms off upstairs to come down wearing black jeans, he wasn't happy that they looked like they'd been sprayed on but he let her go out.

When she came home, she was a "bit p***ed" and giggly, he couldn't complain cos we used to get a lot worse but then he realised..she wasn't wearing her jeans she was wearing the miniskirt...crafty little bit** had stuffed her miniskirt in her bag and changed it when she got to her friends house but because she'd been drinkign she'd forgot to change it back :blahblah::blahblah:

The funniest part was when he checked his card statement, she'd used his card to buy the skirt and the fishnets along with her new docs.... the docs had cost him over £200 on their own , he's never trusted her with his card again :roflmao::roflmao:

You'll have it worse cos you'll have your daughter AND mrs going shopping together mate....you'd better start saving now :blahblah::blahblah:
Called to put some diesel in my van this morning. Got to the checkout and the guy turned away to give me some privacy as I put my debit card number into the machine. I said ..... " matey, if I gave you my card and told you the four numbers you still couldn't empty my account faster than my misses " He laughed. ?
 

tipitinmick

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Keeping schtum on that one mate!.....She's cooking dinner tonight!:oops:;):giggle:
Funny little story Mark ..... Making dinner one night I said to my daughter who was about 10 at the time ( jokingly ) .... " I've a good mind to put some Arsenic in your mum's dinner she's always getting on at me " Later we are sat eating our dinner and my daughter said to my wife .... " I shouldn't eat that mum, dad has put the nick of his arse in it. ??? Turns out she didn't know what Arsenic was. Kids !
 

Total

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^^@tipitinmick ......Smiling here Mick. :giggle: :ROFLMAO:

.......I'll bring me own sandwiches next time I'm at yours! ;):ROFLMAO::giggle:
 

Trogg

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Keeping schtum on that one mate!.....She's cooking dinner tonight!:oops:;):giggle:

Total on his death bed " i have to tell you my dear, i sometimes ridiculed you on maggotdrowning"
Wife "shush dear it's ok, don't worry about it"
Total "no i can't forgive myself, i said some really hurtful things about you"
Wife "i know you little sh*t, that's why i poisoned you"
 

Total

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Total on his death bed " i have to tell you my dear, i sometimes ridiculed you on maggotdrowning"
Wife "shush dear it's ok, don't worry about it"
Total "no i can't forgive myself, i said some really hurtful things about you"
Wife "i know you little sh*t, that's why i poisoned you"

And sleeping with one eye open Alan....I learnt that from an early age when I met my good wife. ;) :ROFLMAO:
 
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