Bloody anti bark dog collar

Trogg

the bouncer
Staff member
Site Supporter
Joined
Aug 11, 2001
Messages
29,545
Okay so my neighbour has been complaining that the dogs have been barking non-stop.

I hate the electric zapping bark collars, so I went online to pets at home and purchased a humane citronella collar.

When the dog barks, it shoots a blast of citronella under their nose and apparently, they don't like it.

This morning I was getting the collar ready then filled it with the citronella liquid and that's where my morning should have ended.

But no, it's me, and I begin to become curious as to “how” the collars actually work. So, I'm standing by my back door "barking" at the dog's collar.

Nothing happens, i make sure it's turned on, check the fill level, and go through the "getting started" check list one more time again, I bark.
Nothing happens, now I'm not quite sure, why I had this next thought, but I did...I put the collar on.

I seriously extended the band and fit the growl box against my throat and barked.

Apparently, the collar only works if it feels vibrations, because I immediately received a blast of citronella to the face.
I began coughing, which only caused the collar to continue squirting spray over and over into my nasal cavity.

I'm now on my hands and knees in my back garden, trying to breathe, and to make matters worse, the friggin dog is barking.
So, between coughing and yelling at him to shut up, I've emptied over a dozen blasts of citronella to my face.

During all of this ruckus, I'm trying to undo the clasp of the collar, which has somehow managed to weld shut 😡

I finally get the collar off and throw, yes, I throw that inhumane bloody thing across the garden then lay in the grass sucking in the cool morning air.

In the middle of thinking this is probably the daftest thing I've done in a while, I hear laughter.

I look up and there's my neighbour, he was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. Between gasps, he tells me, "I was gonna come help, but every time I started to climb over the fence, you'd set it off again and then I would start laughing and couldn't get over the fence.

So now, not only are my eyes red, but my face and ears are too, after checking to make sure I was ok, he goes back round his house and I went in to shower so I wouldn't smell like ode de' Tiki Torch.

Lesson learned: next time (yes, there will always be a next time with me) make sure that:

1. Don't fill the collar before trying to set it off.

2. Remember your neighbor is not a good source of help in a comedy crisis situation.

On the plus side, I won't have a mosquito problem for a few days!

Even though this does sound like something I'd do, I hate to break the news that it's a copied story that gave me a good laugh so feel free to do the same.
....................


I figured everyone on MD could use a good laugh so i thought i'd let you all picture gentle lil Troggy killing himself with a dog collar 😉😂
 

Trogg

the bouncer
Staff member
Site Supporter
Joined
Aug 11, 2001
Messages
29,545
Really Trogg??????????
I knew it was a lie as I was told that your good lady uses one of these..............

1623410640199.png

to keep you quiet at home. 😂 🤣
Nah that's only on thursday and friday nights when we're both home 😂😂
 

JayBee

Regular member
Site Supporter
Joined
Jun 6, 2017
Messages
1,046
Trogg + Dog Collar = T.jpg


Nah !
Now there's a thought.....Would it be
Dear Father I have.................?, and his suitable forgiveness?.
or
Verily, verily , I say unto thee..........?
or
Thou shalt not....................?
 

warrington63

Exiled Northerner
Site Supporter
Joined
Oct 15, 2017
Messages
9,218
Okay so my neighbour has been complaining that the dogs have been barking non-stop.

I hate the electric zapping bark collars, so I went online to pets at home and purchased a humane citronella collar.

When the dog barks, it shoots a blast of citronella under their nose and apparently, they don't like it.

This morning I was getting the collar ready then filled it with the citronella liquid and that's where my morning should have ended.

But no, it's me, and I begin to become curious as to “how” the collars actually work. So, I'm standing by my back door "barking" at the dog's collar.

Nothing happens, i make sure it's turned on, check the fill level, and go through the "getting started" check list one more time again, I bark.
Nothing happens, now I'm not quite sure, why I had this next thought, but I did...I put the collar on.

I seriously extended the band and fit the growl box against my throat and barked.

Apparently, the collar only works if it feels vibrations, because I immediately received a blast of citronella to the face.
I began coughing, which only caused the collar to continue squirting spray over and over into my nasal cavity.

I'm now on my hands and knees in my back garden, trying to breathe, and to make matters worse, the friggin dog is barking.
So, between coughing and yelling at him to shut up, I've emptied over a dozen blasts of citronella to my face.

During all of this ruckus, I'm trying to undo the clasp of the collar, which has somehow managed to weld shut 😡

I finally get the collar off and throw, yes, I throw that inhumane bloody thing across the garden then lay in the grass sucking in the cool morning air.

In the middle of thinking this is probably the daftest thing I've done in a while, I hear laughter.

I look up and there's my neighbour, he was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. Between gasps, he tells me, "I was gonna come help, but every time I started to climb over the fence, you'd set it off again and then I would start laughing and couldn't get over the fence.

So now, not only are my eyes red, but my face and ears are too, after checking to make sure I was ok, he goes back round his house and I went in to shower so I wouldn't smell like ode de' Tiki Torch.

Lesson learned: next time (yes, there will always be a next time with me) make sure that:

1. Don't fill the collar before trying to set it off.

2. Remember your neighbor is not a good source of help in a comedy crisis situation.

On the plus side, I won't have a mosquito problem for a few days!

Even though this does sound like something I'd do, I hate to break the news that it's a copied story that gave me a good laugh so feel free to do the same.
....................


I figured everyone on MD could use a good laugh so i thought i'd let you all picture gentle lil Troggy killing himself with a dog collar 😉😂
Wishful bloody thinking ...😂
 

CarpCatcher86

Regular member
Joined
Jun 25, 2018
Messages
1,435
Okay so my neighbour has been complaining that the dogs have been barking non-stop.

I hate the electric zapping bark collars, so I went online to pets at home and purchased a humane citronella collar.

When the dog barks, it shoots a blast of citronella under their nose and apparently, they don't like it.

This morning I was getting the collar ready then filled it with the citronella liquid and that's where my morning should have ended.

But no, it's me, and I begin to become curious as to “how” the collars actually work. So, I'm standing by my back door "barking" at the dog's collar.

Nothing happens, i make sure it's turned on, check the fill level, and go through the "getting started" check list one more time again, I bark.
Nothing happens, now I'm not quite sure, why I had this next thought, but I did...I put the collar on.

I seriously extended the band and fit the growl box against my throat and barked.

Apparently, the collar only works if it feels vibrations, because I immediately received a blast of citronella to the face.
I began coughing, which only caused the collar to continue squirting spray over and over into my nasal cavity.

I'm now on my hands and knees in my back garden, trying to breathe, and to make matters worse, the friggin dog is barking.
So, between coughing and yelling at him to shut up, I've emptied over a dozen blasts of citronella to my face.

During all of this ruckus, I'm trying to undo the clasp of the collar, which has somehow managed to weld shut 😡

I finally get the collar off and throw, yes, I throw that inhumane bloody thing across the garden then lay in the grass sucking in the cool morning air.

In the middle of thinking this is probably the daftest thing I've done in a while, I hear laughter.

I look up and there's my neighbour, he was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. Between gasps, he tells me, "I was gonna come help, but every time I started to climb over the fence, you'd set it off again and then I would start laughing and couldn't get over the fence.

So now, not only are my eyes red, but my face and ears are too, after checking to make sure I was ok, he goes back round his house and I went in to shower so I wouldn't smell like ode de' Tiki Torch.

Lesson learned: next time (yes, there will always be a next time with me) make sure that:

1. Don't fill the collar before trying to set it off.

2. Remember your neighbor is not a good source of help in a comedy crisis situation.

On the plus side, I won't have a mosquito problem for a few days!

Even though this does sound like something I'd do, I hate to break the news that it's a copied story that gave me a good laugh so feel free to do the same.
....................


I figured everyone on MD could use a good laugh so i thought i'd let you all picture gentle lil Troggy killing himself with a dog collar 😉😂
To be honest mate, I would be laughing too :ROFLMAO:
 

robert d

Allways trying to improve
Site Supporter
Joined
Dec 27, 2013
Messages
6,101
Okay so my neighbour has been complaining that the dogs have been barking non-stop.

I hate the electric zapping bark collars, so I went online to pets at home and purchased a humane citronella collar.

When the dog barks, it shoots a blast of citronella under their nose and apparently, they don't like it.

This morning I was getting the collar ready then filled it with the citronella liquid and that's where my morning should have ended.

But no, it's me, and I begin to become curious as to “how” the collars actually work. So, I'm standing by my back door "barking" at the dog's collar.

Nothing happens, i make sure it's turned on, check the fill level, and go through the "getting started" check list one more time again, I bark.
Nothing happens, now I'm not quite sure, why I had this next thought, but I did...I put the collar on.

I seriously extended the band and fit the growl box against my throat and barked.

Apparently, the collar only works if it feels vibrations, because I immediately received a blast of citronella to the face.
I began coughing, which only caused the collar to continue squirting spray over and over into my nasal cavity.

I'm now on my hands and knees in my back garden, trying to breathe, and to make matters worse, the friggin dog is barking.
So, between coughing and yelling at him to shut up, I've emptied over a dozen blasts of citronella to my face.

During all of this ruckus, I'm trying to undo the clasp of the collar, which has somehow managed to weld shut 😡

I finally get the collar off and throw, yes, I throw that inhumane bloody thing across the garden then lay in the grass sucking in the cool morning air.

In the middle of thinking this is probably the daftest thing I've done in a while, I hear laughter.

I look up and there's my neighbour, he was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. Between gasps, he tells me, "I was gonna come help, but every time I started to climb over the fence, you'd set it off again and then I would start laughing and couldn't get over the fence.

So now, not only are my eyes red, but my face and ears are too, after checking to make sure I was ok, he goes back round his house and I went in to shower so I wouldn't smell like ode de' Tiki Torch.

Lesson learned: next time (yes, there will always be a next time with me) make sure that:

1. Don't fill the collar before trying to set it off.

2. Remember your neighbor is not a good source of help in a comedy crisis situation.

On the plus side, I won't have a mosquito problem for a few days!

Even though this does sound like something I'd do, I hate to break the news that it's a copied story that gave me a good laugh so feel free to do the same.
....................


I figured everyone on MD could use a good laugh so i thought i'd let you all picture gentle lil Troggy killing himself with a dog collar 😉😂
The cheapest option is to buy the neighbours ear defenders lol. I found nothing works but you can calm them down a bit by training
 
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