Allstars 2013 match results


Regular member
Feb 19, 2012
02/09/17 forest lane, square hole in floor

So three weeks on from the Bennys shenanigans & we pitched up at forest lane, the place with the well behaved ducks & good breakfasts, spirits were still high from last time out but this would be a different nut to crack altogether so venue expert Stevie G stayed at home biding his time for the cooler months [:T]

Once the fat lads had filled their bellies (no mean feat)one of the septuagenarians stuck his withered old paw in to the bag to pick out a golden peg....then promptly drew the same peg for the bearing in mind that he's renowned for being frugal...well.. I smell a rat, ban the bugger I say [:D]

After what seemed a loooong time to set up a couple of top kits & after much chuntering from millionaire Mick (ee don't like forest lane methinks) we finally kicked off & right on q the sun burned through the sea fret & cast a glorious blaze on the square thus turning what had the potential to be a tough match into a certainty (get the excuses in early). The first hour dragged on for about 180 minutes with few fish being caught, at that point Chippie cried enough & got the pellet wagler out, I thought the sun must have got to him but he's used to it now after 2 weeks in skeggy & blathered up in factor 50 he promptly started to get fish...que everyone else getting waglers out[:eek:)][:eek:)] so it seems the fair skinned one is a bit of a trend setter on the quiet...Occasionally a slight breeze put a ripple on the puddle & it seemed that a few fish moved with it apart from Rambo Baggins peg where the wind was like summat from Siberia apparently, causing him to keep his three jumpers on much to the amusement of everyone else, but it all went quiet when he started to look for his BIG knife, I mean you never can tell with some folk can you ?...never stopped him landing a fish with his reel in several bits on the bank around him though

As usual with the last hour came a few fish for some, the pensioner & The Boy being grateful for them, also the sun really had got to some after however many hours(days ?)we'd been at it, Chippies eyebrows looked like two caterpillars crawling across a cabbage by now & at one point Mick stopped moaning & stood up to stretch his wallet..just at the same time as a carp latched onto however many meters of polycarbonate he had out...well he can move for a fat lad I'll tell you as he dived to his rapidly disappearing pole he looked like a fat Neville Southall & I'm sure I wasn't the only one willing him in the drink [:D][:D][:D]

Ended summat like this...

1st Carter ubm 53lb 11oz
2nd Catweazle 27lb 14oz
3rd The Pensioner 25lb 1oz
4th Millionaire Mick 23lb 3oz
5th El Presidente 21lb 13oz
6th Dennis 21lb 9oz
7th The Boy 20lb 14oz
8th Chippie 20lb
9th Grizzly Adams 15lb 14oz
10th Allstar 14lb 1oz
11th Fagin 13lb 4oz
12th Geppetto 9lb 7oz (bet ya wished y'd gone to Turkey [8D])
13th Shaggy 9lb 3oz
14th Rambo Baggins 9lb 1oz
15th Junior Gilbo 8lb 1oz


1 The Pensioner 91
2 Carter ubm 89
3= El Presidente,The Cormorant & Geppetto 82
4 Catweazle 81
5 The Boy 76
6 Chippie 73
7 Venue expert 66
8 Millionaire mick 62
9 Allstar 59
10 The cider twins Shaggy & Fagin 58
11 Dennis 57
12 Junior Gilbo 55
13 Grizzly Adams 49
14 Huck Finn 46
15 Rambo Baggins 22
16 Flipper 8

Allstars three day festival next [V][V][V][xx(][xx(][8D][:eek:)][:C][:T]

One last tip from Fagin... If you go to a Toby carvery for Sunday lunch, don't pay the full 7.50 pay 6.00 for the veggie option then get the pork crackling at the end of the counter & use that as a meat substitute thus saving yourself 1.50 [:T]

Tight tw*t ! Adie baby would be proud of you...
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Regular member
Feb 19, 2012
22-24 Sep', Lindome lakes, inaugural allstars festival [:T]

First off well Done for herding the sheep's like platting fog when some of em haven't got their carers with them [:eek:)]...

Some of us weren't allowed to fish the Friday so I'm only hinting at what might have happened.... I had to collect Fagin on Saturday morning for the drive down to sunny Lindome...He said he knew a shortcut...& like a fool I believed him,200 miles later & we pulled up in the car park behind the caf to find a grinning Rambo baggins, butchers knife in one hand, toothbrush in the other trying to clean his teeth which must have slipped to the side of his head by the way he was scrubbing his ear,toothpaste dripping everywhere lookin like a rabid dog...must've been a good night then ..unless you had to kip elsewhere 'cos yr room mate was snoring & farting like a boar pig eh Junior...
[:T] other notable's from Friday ...The millionaire's gran used to wear a crochet top...minus bra [:(] & when chippy drinks dark fruits cider his poo turns bright blue...funny world innit, anyhoo's amongst all this foolery they had a match...

1 Catweazle 40lb 13oz
2 Junior Gilbo 36lb 4oz
3 Huck Finn 35lb 8oz
4 The Boy 33lb 13oz
5 Rambo Baggins 30lb 4oz
6 Chippie 29lb 5oz
7 Carter ubm 27lb 10oz
8 Millionaire Mick 25lb 6oz
9 The Cormorant 23lb 9oz
10 Flipper 21lb 8oz
11 Shaggy 16lb 1oz
12 Grizzly Adams 14lb 4oz
13 Geppetto 10lb 5oz
14 El Presidente 8lb 10 oz

On to Saturday & Fagins got a terrible habit of having a tipple after every match then disposing of his emptys in everyone else'e tackle....I don't think he was overly surprised to find the contents of the full Friday night wedged into every spare centimetre of his tackle...ah well, seems he can still chunter when provoked [:D]

This was the annual rod & line match this year held on loco with its resident head of lumps, rod & line match always throws up a laugh or two as people try to figure out which way round to hold it & what does the spinny thing on the butt do [:D]

Right, on to the actual fishing bit...many sore heads were present but Rambo baggins must've been the worst as he paddled round looking lost & making a meal of setting up by managing to cover two thirds of north Lincolnshire with an array of tackle, the match was the usual affair of banter once the thick heads had worn off & the serious business of winning the coveted title was at stake [xx(], some caught later on with some hefty lumps showing up in the process ( Geppetto had a big fish which some pegs were claiming to be a double but Fagin clarified the matter by saying it's not a double it's about 10lb [:eek:)])...come the weigh in & it was a match of two banks one half caught the other half struggled...

1 Flipper 68lb 6oz
2 Junior Gilbo 57lb 13oz
3 Millionaire Mick the Motivator 53lb 6oz
4 Geppetto 52lb 8oz
5 Allstar 50lb 7oz
6 Carter ubm 47lb 8oz
7 The Cormorant 41lb 1oz
8 Huck Finn 38lb 10oz
9 Rambo baggins 34lb 12oz
10 Catweazle 31lb 5oz
11 The Boy 30lb 1oz
12 Fagin 29lb 4oz (could've weighed in more for the scrap cans
13 El Presidente 26lb 9oz
14 The Pensioner 22lb 15oz
15 Chippie 18lb 11oz
16 Grizzly 14lb 1oz
17 Shaggy 1oz [:T]
A mention must go out to chippie who started the match slightly pink [:X] & finished it with a fine rosy red cider glow [V].

Satday nite & after my initial *******ing off my roomy for drinking too much & making too much noise while he was trying to watch strictly it was into the big city...Epworth [:T] another curry & more tales of lost fish, we also had a lookalike competition, with Jason orange from take that, Ozzy & Sharon Osbourne, Patrick Swayze, & the "two F**in stone" Gypsy fighter (can't remember his name) was in the curry house that The Boys "bad egg" from breakfast made a re-appearance [xx(][xx(][xx(] bad egg my arse, Fagin says it's drinking with the big misters wot did it, anyway at least it saved us a job of having to wind him like we usually do.

Sunday dawned bright & cheery or wooly & grey...depends on y'r alcohol intake but it didn't matter 'cos I had my roomy, Rambo baggins cookin & cleaning which he did with great was the best fried lunch I've had in a while...I think I'll have to set his alarm for 4.00 am next time so we don't miss the draw [:)]...then & again maybe it's best not to comment on someone who carries a 12 inch butchers knife round with him 'cos I don't think he's out collecting for the red cross with it [:0]

Once the match was moved to the flagship & Fagin had taken at least 10 immodium to keep the curry in he only went & drew a flyer again..golden pegs & flyers all the way this year for Fagin & it's a good job for the rest of us that he's sh*t [:C][:H][:T].

Some had gone home earlier & some had to leave early (the pensioner being one of them) but he showed up at lunch time ish to come & see how its done or to find the wheels that have come off his should try being me [:C]

Anyhoo's he paddled past all pegs casting shadows & scaring fish & even woke me up at one point so he'll be full of knowledge on what not to do now [:T]

Apart from one of the resident rats trying to make it up my britches leg at one point that's about all I can remember....

1 Carter ubm105lb 4oz
2 The Boy 53lb
3 The Cormorant 52lb
4 Grizzly Adams 48lb 12oz (left early)
5 Allstar 44lb 1oz
6 Geppetto 37lb
7 Fagin 36lb 9oz ( they're a curse them flyers [:T])
8 Shaggy 27lb 6oz
9 El Presidente 27lb 1oz
10 Flipper 27lb
11 Huck Finn 18lb
12 Millionaire Mick 10lb 5oz
13 Chippie dnw (left early to have another blue poo)

So that was the first Allstars was actually The Cormorants stag bash & we all wish him well when he trys to explain to her indoors that the festival will take place on their wedding anniversary every year..[B)]

Thanks to the Lindome mob for keeping us fed & watered & giving us all the info we needed to get p**sed & also for not laughing too much at four allstars trying to close a door at was still wide open Sunday morning [:H]

One last thing, if y'r brothers invited you round for a drink to his shiny new pad,you don't abuse his hospitality by drinking all his red wine then pi**ing in his bath tub do ya [:0][:T] or maybe that's just me [:W]

River next...they're frightened already...but the pensioner might well find his wheels again..[:T]


Regular member
Feb 19, 2012
14/10/17 River Calder Altofts

Its that time of year again when the mighty allstars venture to the flowing stuff,granted its not everybodys cup of tea but then & again neither is chasing puddle pigs around a hole in the floor...with this in mind various excuses were being thrown about for absences,I'm away, gotta go see the vicar, got me pubes stuck in the wifes corset,gotta work..etc etc there was only chippie who stood up & said "I aint going to that sh*thole"[:D]...

The weather was always holding the ace card with the river levels going up & down like a whores knickers but El Presidente had it all under control by monitoring the EA website to keep an eye on how much fresh dyke was coming down....granted he was looking at the wrong river but his intentions were good [:H]...Anyhoo's come the big day & it was all good to go & for once there was no one fishing our pegs before we arrived,tip top [:T]

Come the draw & Fagin doubled up with another peg so El Presidente was keeping up the tradition of over complicating the job with too many balls in his sack,good job he's not in charge of the lottery [8][:eek:)]. As usual with this section of the river some of us are in for a bit of a hike & when shaggy drew peg 14 he decided he needed his new guru trolley to get his clobber to his peg so out it came.... a brand spanking new bright orange wheelbarrow which he manhandled across the lock & down the bank like a seasoned pro..[:T]...once at our pegs most of us took our lives in our hands to get to the waters edge by doing impressions of Torville & Dean 'cos it were a bit slippy like [:(!],Then every time El Presidente walked past the match time altered so when we finally started only El Presidente knew what time we were actually fishing till [:(][:(]

Anyway on to the actual fishing part....first off I thought that lil Kim had finally got his finger on the big red button with the splashing of the feeders going off like surface to air missiles & the shock made me drop all me BB shot into me maggots,still I suppose it was a nice day for armaggedon.Just about everyone had pike bother with the buggers attacking fish & nets right left & center & the occasional boater not giving a flip where they drove the bloody things. so some folk performed & some struggled as per usual & it was expected that the pensioner, Dennis & El Presidente would be the men to beat with all their river experience & the propper tackle for the job but it seems that a pellet waggler rod, 40 year old reel (& line [:D]) & bloody big float is all you need...none of this finesse lark 'cos I gave the pensioner fair warning at the start that his mini revival was over & that the wheels were coming off again ... & bugger me it worked [^].
Time was called eventually & repeatedly just to make sure that the selective deafness of the old bugger didn't make an appearance.... during the weigh in Huck Finn tried to weigh a fanny pad (sanitry towel) that he'd caught on the feeder,his reasoning was that it still smelled of fish so it should count [:D][:D]

1 Allstar 10lb
2 El Presidente 9lb 3oz
3 Dennis 6lb 15oz
4 The Pensioner 6lb squiggle [:H] including half a pint of casters that mysteriousy found their way in to his net...[:0][:0]
5 Catweazle 6lb 9oz
6 Carter ubm 5lb 4oz
7 Junior Gilbo 4lb 3oz
8= Geppetto 2lb 10oz ?
8= Grizzly Adams 2lb squiggle that could be the same as above
9 Millionaire Mick 2lb 8oz
10 Huck Finn 2lb 1oz with no towel weighed [xx(]
11 Fagin 1lb 14oz
12 Rambo Baggins 13oz
13 Shaggy 4oz [V]

I'm not even going to attempt the points but I think its still tight at the top.

Poppleton next to see jolly Rodger [:W]


Regular member
Feb 19, 2012
04/11/17 poppleton railway corner peg like...

Well it's nearly that time of year again, time to dig out the thermals & more flasks, I would say excuses as well but they're in use all year round with the allstars so maybe just a cold weather tweak here & there [:T], also time to start looking for a few silver fish if the puddle pigs are sleepy.

So we landed at jolly Rogers spot sure of a bit of light hearted banter from the man himself [:0][:0][:0] or at the very least some accusations of what we did last time ....(the rules have known to be changed mid match)with the promised rain making it a bit damp at least it washed the goose sh*t away though [:T]. Chippy turned up after threatening to stay in bed & the usual scrum for the draw took place with the corner pegs being the ones everyone wanted, two of them had the curse of the golden peg on them though...The pensioners wheels continued to fall off & just for a change lightning Langdon aka Fagin never got an end peg [:C].

Upon landing at our pegs Millionaire mick the motivator discovered that he'd left his pole back at the mansion & none of the staff were available to bring it to him (p45 coming their way then) Rambo baggins also managed to sort his tackle out & leave his landing net head at he invented the .....landing keepnet [:D] ingenuity like that is what made Britain great back when we had an empire...this new-fangled invention came in handy when he dropped his car keys in the puddle ...& I thought I was going to have to bend the truth more than usual in this work of fiction, its good to know that we are yawsless so there'll always be summat to type....

Anyhoo's as seems to be he norm if you never had a corner peg u were in for a looooong day & although it was a long day for me at least I had the privilege of being pegged between Junior & Huck Finn (sort of a dick sandwich I suppose ****) which left me with summat to laugh at to my left as Huck Finn tried to fish into sumat that he described as "like an 80year olds f**ny..full of sh*t & twigs" & plumes of refresher (remember them?)flavoured fog drifting down from my right....The only thing of note that I recall happening during the 6 hours was Geppeto loosing most of his pole as a puddle pig had away with it, the fish was on to a no hoper though as it had chosen to swim towards Rambo Baggins who had his trawler net at the ready [:eek:)] it wasn't needed though 'cos The Cormorant latched on to the pole & managed to lose the fish in the process much to Geppeto's chagrin.

1 Carter ubm 76lb 15oz
2 The Boy 52lb 11oz
3 Huck Finn 49lb 15oz
4 El Presidente 36lb 10oz
5 Lightning Langdon (Fagin) 21lb 6oz
6 The Cormorant 18lb 8oz
7 Shaggy 16lb 4oz
8 The Pensioner 14lb 13oz..minus another wheel [:H]
9 Dennis 13lb 4oz
10 Grizzly Adams 10lb 8oz
11 Catweazle 10lb 3oz
12 Allstar [:C] 8lb 14oz
13 Rambo Baggins 7lb 11oz
14 Geppeto 7lb 9oz
15 Junior Gilbo 7lb
16 Millionaire Mick the Motivator 1lb 9oz
Flipper & Chippie (wished he'd stayed in bed) dnw

1 Carter ubm 110
2 The Pensioner 107
3 Catweazle 96
4 Geppeto 95
6 The Cormorant 92
7 El Presidente 91
8 The Boy 90
9 Allstar 79
10 Mick the Motivator 78
11 Fagin 75
12 Dennis & Chippie 73
13 Junior Gilbo 71
14 Shaggy 67
15 Venue absent expert 66
16 Huck Finn 65
17 Grizzly Adams 61
18 Rambo Baggins 37

So there you have it, one match left & all to play for, what we do know is that Rambo Baggins has the coveted wooden spoon trophy & that El Presidente can sit smug at the head of the table on Christmas day knowing that he's put junior to bed good & proper this year. The much sort after Fenton quid is up for grabs though...7 all at present, good luck lightning...all to play for back at butlins in 3 weeks time

**** Due to them both being Richards...
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Regular member
Feb 19, 2012
So....firstly let's catch up with the last match of 2017 eh children, I couldn't be arsed to turn up,The pensioner won the match & finally someone took the golden peg (bloody pensioner) & Carter ubm was the overall winner, congrats to all who turned out & won summat at the usual year end shindig.

Back to the present, Lindome bog 27/01/18 beaches hole.

After a week of being bombarded on whatsapp with pic's of Barry & his humongous tool by El presidente & the cormorant, everyone was keeping a safe distance from the pair not being sure of their motives or sexual preferances....Anyhoo's the usual scrum took place for the draw with all being keen to kick off 2018 in fine style or to head home with tail stuck firmly between legs...(like me)[:C]

The weather was supposed to be pants in the mornining & improving in the we go again. The first spectator event was to watch El Presidente guide the 15th version of his trolley through the lindome bogs to his peg,fortunately for him he didn't have to go far much to the dissapointment of the masses, it was a bit like watching a ploughing match set on the somme battlefield with him looking like one of Sam Smiths dray hosses (maybe that's where Barry comes in) but I digress...

After rubbing shoulders with the elite, Lee Kerrygold, Ronnie pickersgill & the like the word was you needed to draw in the "bowl" to be in with a chance...or not, I had a decent peg & not for the last time this year managed to make a complete & utter balls of it & lose the first of the year to Lightning Langdon...

Enough drivel, ended up summat like this

1st Catweazle 68lb 5oz
2 Huck Finn32lb 14oz
3 Carter ubm 23lb 1oz
4 The Cormorant 20lb 6oz
5 Millionaire Mick 14lb 9oz
6 Geppetto 12lb 12oz
7 Grizzly adams 11lb 15oz
8 The Boy 11lb 4oz
9 Newbie Gary 10lb 14oz nickname required
10 Lightning Langdon 9lb 14oz
11 Dennis 8lb 3oz
12 Allstar 6lb 5oz
13 El Presidente 4lb 9oz
14 The Pensioner 3lb 12oz [:C][:C][:C][:C][:D][:T]
15 Shaggy 1lb
16 Junior Gilbo dnw

So what we learned was ....Chippie's not as daft as he looks, stell prices will go up shortly due to the demand of the bismark trolley, The pensioner's gone awol...although he's winning the silvers league at the mo' & newbie Garry cheats by getting fish from other anglers nets while the rest of us weigh one likes a cheat but you're in good company...honour amongst thieves & all that

Pool bridge next & if you don't like it stay at home [:p] .....
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Regular member
Feb 19, 2012
18/02/18 pool bridge old lake

Well...I did say if you don't like it stay at home....

So after another week of the weather being in several different time zones at once we had the pleasure of pool bridge,nowt wrong with that I hear you say....well many were beaten before they got out of the vans [:(][:(] & their frame of mind matched the weather for the day...grey & overcast with a chance of an occasional shower & bloody cold to boot [:C]

Once El presidente had puffed his chest out & made it quite clear that he wasn't peggin out (someone else can get a *******ing) the three stooges stepped forward to take up the challenge,Junior,Huck Finn & lightning Langdon waddled round & made the right choice of only pegging one bank, the deeper pegs after the bridge were favourites & in the ruck for the draw the Pensioner was about first in the bag as usual & unusaually for him .... [:0]" That's the peg I wanted" was his cry.....again...until he arrived to find not a lot of room...ah well... & with newbie Cannon fodder,Carter ubm & lightning Langdon filling in the other favoured pegs I thought we might be on a hiding to nothing AND I was not looking forward to giving another quid away & suffering the ritual humiliation from workplace colleagues the following week.Anyhoo's right on cue the rain came just to dampen everyones high spirits, by now millionaire mick had already started his own rover match claiming that his peg was unfishable because of the ice & the mouse that was in his welly agreed [:T] (the mansions cat will by now be looking for another home 'cos he wasn't a happy bunny [:D]) Huck Finn advised him that the best way to break the ice would be to chuck his wallet on it & that would be sure to break it [:T], Denzil managed to fall ass over tit on the wet grass but fortunately for him his light elasticated top kit broke his fall [:C] & that left him with 6 kits of double 18 to fish for the resident silver population,Grizzly Adams was getting giddy about the fish topping in his swim until HF pointed out it was a bloody big rat...should've gone to specsavers.

Speaking of Huck Finn,he'd alreaddy decided that it was going to be a steady day so he decided that it was time everyone saw his potential to be on dragons den by turning his bump bar upside down & back to front to make it into a back rest [:T][:T]

So after much muttering we kicked off at 9:30 ish....well somewhere between 9:15 & 9:30...maybe ish.. (apart from Micks iceberg breaking free & causing havock in the surrounding holes there's really not much to say about the next 6 hours so I'll skip to the end, artistic licence like [:T])...

6 cold wet & pretty dismal hours later we packed in & a number af the Allstars were soooo dispondant they didn't even say thank f... (which is the usual battle cry at the end of proceedings) We started weighing at the "good end" & with a couple of 6lbs & a couple of 4lbs it wasn't looking rosy for the rest of us...until we got to the "bad end" where myself & El Presidente had just goes to show that the cream will rise [8D]

1st Allstar 8lb 8oz
2 El Presidente 7lb 5oz
3 The pensioner 6lb 15oz
4 Carter ubm 6lb 6oz
5 Denzil 5lb 10oz (good going on double 24 elastic)
6 Gepetto 5lb 4oz
7 Lightning Langdon 4lb 14oz
8 Cannon fodder 4lb 8oz
9 Millionaire Mick (& mouse) 4lb 5oz
10 Junior 3lb 12oz
11 Grizzly Adams 3lb
12 The Cormorant rant rant rant ...1lb 5oz
13 Shaggy 13oz
14 Huck Finn 7oz

Appologies if the weights are wrong, the spider's been working overtime in the ink,the boy was in the right place but it's good to know that it's in again next year...

Viking next in 3 weeks, just about time to pick them bottom lips off the floor boys...
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Regular member
Feb 19, 2012
10/03/18 Viking, Hawk puddle

So... as winter tries it's hardest to kick spring & summer into touch & go straight back to winter we had the pleasure of a trip to Pollington to brighten our dreary days up. Lightning Langdon or Fagin or Jock Sparrow or whatever nom de plume he's going under these days was favourite (in his mind anyway)as he'd won there last year,granted it was off the best peg on the complex but a wins a win.

Once we'd navigated our way through the mini lakes that had sprung up all over the roads overnight we arrived bright eyed & bushy tailed to a sort of boggy mess that was ankle deep in places (3 months time Yorkshire water will be telling us there's a drought on [:eek:)]) & as everyone formed an orderly que for peg 11 the usual suspect started his charge from the back of the car park with his watery old eyes fixed on the drawbag & god help anyone in his way [:0][:(!][:D] (flip knows what he's like at the post office when there's his pension to collect, there'll be old biddys with dogs,blind & infirm codgers all shoved out of the way to get to the counter first)...anyway in the end he got a golden peg [:C] but not 11 (the best peg in Yorkshire) which went to millionaire Mick, so that made him favourite for the day.Once we'd all settled down after watching El Presidente manouvering "little willie" (look it up, ww1 tanks) through the quagmire it started to p**s down again just for good measure.

The rain was forecast to stop @10 so the usual debate with the brollys was going on up down up down but at kick off time it was hammering it down & half the field never heard the boys toy whistle, all eyes on the Pensioner 'cos he's usually early due to a faulty hearing aid...but after a couple of months of him losing his mojo...well we were soon treated to the, "how many have u got now" conversation with who ever else he's trying to out psyche,seemed that he'd landed on the kippers anyway[:C]..Millionaire Mick however was a different story making a complete balls of the best peg in England & muttering like an absolute pro all day much to the amusement of those around him with little to do but twiddle our fingers & count down the minutes to home time. A long day for some & a decent day for others (heard that before aint ya)

Anyhoo's six hours later we'd all stayed which is more than happened last time we were there in the rain ....(we aint seen or heard of Stevie G since) ... & were presented with a grinning pensioner, what a joy to see [:D]....

1st The Pensioner 86lb 5oz
2 Garry Gritter (appropriate for this week) 33lb 6oz
3 The Cormorant 31lb 3oz
4 Junior G 20lb 15oz
5 El Presidente 20lb 12oz
6 The Boy 20lb 10oz
7 Moaning Millionaire Mick 17lb 7oz the best peg in Europe [:T]
8 Shaggy 17lb 5oz
9 Allstar 9lb 10oz
10 Grizzly Adams 9lb 8oz
11 Huck Finn 7lb 10 oz
12 Denzil 6lb 5oz
13 Carter ubm 5lb 5oz
14 Jock Sparrow 5lb 1oz
15 Geppetto 3lb 3oz

So a day of two halfs if you were on the pigs you caught if you weren't then tough titty but thats the way the biscuit breaks & at least I'm a quid up [:T]


1 The Pensioner 24
2 Allstar & Garry 23
3 The Cormorant 22
4 Millionaire Mick & Carter ubm 21
5 Huck Finn & El Presidente 20
6 Grizzly Adams 19
7 Fagin & Denzil 18
8 The Boy & Geppetto 17
9 Junior G 15
10 Catweazle 10

Right so thats another instalment of the ongoing debacle that is the 2018 season, A big shout out to Garry & his willys worms contacts for the top quality bait [:T] (not easily bought me [:T])... not sure if Catweazle returns for the next match & I've a doctors note excusing me so it'll be down to Junior to fill this twaddle in if he chooses
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Regular member
Feb 19, 2012
21/04/18 Hoss shoe Raker

Forest lane update,

Junior forgot to do a report for the last match (in true Gilbertson fashion) The Boy won,Geppetto second & The Cormorant wuz third.

So back to Raker, the spot where it all started for the all conquering allstars (that must be bad grammar) & its about time too, not too far away,a decent sh*t house & next to the Elvington/Wheldrake tt which on a decent day makes for entertaining noises.

Anyhoo's once the fat boys had filled the bellys & yours truly arrived late (how 15 minutes early is classed as late is beyond me but that's what makes this country great I guess) Fagin managed to get a golden peg again which is becoming a regular occourance but at least it gives the money chance to build up 'cos he's hopeless as of late.
Strawberry Blonde Chippie was making a guest appearance after finding the teddy that he chucked out of the cot in spectacular fashion last year & with the sun beating down it was just a case of how pink he could get in 6ish hours, ish being the right word as half of us never knew we'd started (a bit like the pensioner in reverse)... Chippie was instantly catching which made millionaire moaner Mick moan even more & for the next four hours it got steadily worse, chuntering like a right old fanny he wasSo as far as fishing goes everyone caught & everyone seemed happy to be back, newbie Gaz managed a number for section & El Presidente managed a top kit & just about everyone else managed terminal tackle in the trees & bushes but the sun was out so no one cared.

1st Carter ubm 61lb
2nd The pensioner 49lb 8oz
3rd Chippie 38lb
4th The Moantivator 37lb 8oz (a good comeback & it shut him up)
5th Geppetto 35lb12oz
6th El Presidente 34lb 12oz
7th Junior 27lb 2oz
8th Allstar 25lb 14oz
9th The Boy 25lb 4oz
10th Huck Finn 23lb
11th Garrrrryyyyy 21lb 12oz
12th The Cormorant 20lb 8oz
13th Shaggy 18lb 10oz
14th DJ Denzil 17lb 4oz
15th Fagin 15lb 4oz
16th Catweazle 15lb 2oz
17th Bilbo Bagginsis 5lb & no idea where the time went....

Learnings fron this week....apart from the fact that Fagin can't dress himself & we've recently learned that he scavenges food from the pedal bin at home (they're not throwing it away at that price)....& once again cheers to the bait waiter, willys worms, top stuff.

Not sure about this new website, I can't seem to find bugger all.....I'm now missing most of the summer, I've tried to pass the scribes job on to Huck Finn ('cos he's got an interesting way of thinking) but he's a technophobe & hasn't got the hang of an abacus yet, Fagin was another but apart from the parish council & the people on the corner being very nice the rest would be absolute ****** & finally mick...well if he types like he talks it'd be like war & peace...

next match Kippax, Pensioners back garden but interestingly enough he's not won there....yet...


Regular member
Feb 19, 2012
23/06/18 Forest lane, Furlong
Bloody hell, has it really been two months since I last wrote any of this tosh ?? where does time go....So a quick catch up on the matches in between might be required but apart from Carter ubm winning on the canal I haven't a clue what's occurred, Some allstars have been to Ireland to hone their skills & some came back with envelopes (all three of them did I think)... but hey ho I digress.

Forest lane Furlong, A big gudgeon mecca if ever there was one so everyone was setting their stall out to catch the whiskery buggers (the fish, not the pensioner) but with the forecast for the mercury to be hitting record heights was it going to be another debacle ??
The silvers record came from here last year (once it was decided that Barbel weren't carp ?? go figure) so Catweazle was hot favourite to regain his crown & once again we were greeted with "if you don't do a ton you may as well take up golf"......(regular readers may know where this is going)...nowt wrong with golf, especially the dress code, I recon the allstars would look good in plus fours & gay socks,(I'm wandering again ...sorry) but speaking of dress codes, as I said it was a good forecast so the shorts were out in force even Geoff capes put in an appearance & with an unfettered belly out front & a big bike park at the rear...well it was a big turning circle & anyone within three pegs was in danger of collateral damage :bounce:

Once we'd got the pensioners opinions on Bob Rudd obe out of the way we were then treated to a barrage of complaints about how he'd spent £7 on bait for the match...(that's more than he's spent in the last 6 years put together, god knows what he does in Ireland, acts like a mole & goes grubbing for worms or just begs bait maybe)....

Anyway kick off time & within 1 minute I was stuck in the reeds on the far bank (one rig gone) & I was also having my pants pulled down (figuratively speaking) by Carter ubm on the next peg, who was struggling for bites most of the match....(bigger liar than me, the pensioner & fagin put together that lad) so back to plan A, aim for the big gudgeon & sod the puddle pigs which is what everybody did as it happens & everyone caught so it was a good day all round really. Morticia's pole went for a swim at one stage & I think Rambo Baggins also nearly lost his but all in all the only damage was to fair skin from the currant bun beating down...good job old strawberry blonde never turned up :cool:.

Finished summat like this...

1st Carter ubm 108lb 5oz
2nd Catweazle 93lb 3oz
3rd The Pensioner 77lb 8oz
4th Allstar 72lb 12oz
5th The Boy 61lb 5oz
6th El Presidente 56lb 7oz
7th Huck Finn 45lb 15oz
8th Rambo Baggins 42lb 6oz
9th Junior Gilbo 41lb 6oz
10th The Cormorant 40lb 10oz
11th Fagin 32lb 14oz
12th Geppetto 31lb 8oz
13th Shaggy 27lb 8oz
14th Morticia Adams 26lb 13oz

So it was business as usual with Carter ubm winning, a habit that he's finding hard to break at the moment as he won the following day as well...somebody sponsor him & take him out of our hair cos he's a bloody nuisance :beer-toast1:

The boy tightened his grip on the juniors cup, which strangely enough Junior Gilbo's not eligible for :thumbsup:

It's all still to play for but my summer of discontent continues so there'll be no reports till October sometime probly :crybaby2:

Next match is the Big tank Tony memorial at Butlins & Johnny fartpants is apparently putting up an extra prize of a bottle of his famous homemade rhubarb gin, £50 & a fumble round the back of the bike sheds with JS :beautiful::angel2:....Good luck (y)

PS Anyone know where we can get 13 sets of golf sticks :rolleyes:
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