Administratium

Stumbler

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Investigators at a major research institution have discovered the heaviest element known to science. This startling new discovery has been tentatively named Administratium.

This new element has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. A force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons, holds these 312 particles together.

Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than one second. Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. In fact, an Administratium sample's mass will actually increase over time, since with each reorganization some of the morons inevitably become neutrons, forming new isodopes.
 

tonerain

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Jul 16, 2013
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I worked for 2 years at our local council and I had to deal with this element.
However I came to my senses after 18 months and moved on.
Got a lovely thank you letter from the assistant to the deputy finance director though.
 
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