Spanky's thread

spanky

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The ringtone for my phone is: 🎶 De de de de de de, de de de de...De de de de de de, de de de de de...🎶

It's a Huawei 5.0.
 

spanky

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I pushed the boat out on my wife's birthday.

She should be in the middle of the North Sea by the time the sleeping tablets wear off.
 

spanky

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My recent appointment at a London sperm bank turned out to be unsuccessful...

I missed the tube.
 

spanky

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My parents asked me whether I was certain I wanted to identify as a roll on deodorant.

"Yes, I'm sure." I said.
 

mickthestick

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It takes me 5 minutes to walk to the Pub from my house and 45 minutes to walk back, the difference is staggering
 

mickthestick

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I went to a funeral the other day and asked the Vicar if I could have the WiFi password , he said "have some respect for the dead " , I said is that all lower case
 

spanky

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The boss of Dulux has died of hypothermia while trekking across the Antarctic

Medics said he needed a second coat
 

spanky

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Since my missus left I’ve bought a motorbike, got a dog, had a threesome, and blown thousands on drink, drugs and gambling...

She’ll be livid when she gets in from work.
 

spanky

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Went on a tour of a haunted pub the other day...

Couldn't believe the amount of spirits I saw behind the bar.
 

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