Spanky's thread

spanky

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I won my first cage fight last night...

the budgie never had a chance
 

spanky

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Went out drinking with a bunch of blokes that work in the tanning factory...

We got absolutely leathered.
 

mickthestick

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Andy Capp shouts to his Wife "Hey Flo where 's me Pencil . Flo replies "it's behind your ear ". Andy "don't mess me about love , which ear"
 

crackatoa

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A woman wakes up after a vaginal tuck, to find three bunches of flowers on her window sill...


One from her surgeon to say that all went well...


One from her husband saying "Get well soon"...


And one from Tommy in the burns unit saying, "Thank you for the new ears!"
 

spanky

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I'm due to get jailed for not using full stops or apostrophes.

Luckily for me they're still working out my sentence.
 

spanky

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There are more than two genders..

I myself identify as a food mixer (I'm currently undergoing blender reassignment).
 

spanky

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Some parts of Argentina are surprisingly cold...

In fact in places it's bordering on Chile.
 

mickthestick

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Saw a slide for sale the other day , it had an 85 degree incline and they wanted £350 ,I thought that sounded a bit steep
 

mickthestick

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I used to have a fear of walking under Horsechestnut Trees but I've managed to Conker it
 

spanky

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I was worried about my potato crops getting stolen...

so I've had them chipped.
 

spanky

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A Liverpool pensioner has died and left all his worldly possessions to complete strangers...

Or, as the police call them, the original owners.
 

mickthestick

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Just seen a Dwarf prisoner climbing over the wall at Strangeways prison , my mate yelled how the hell did you get over there ,I just thought it was a little condescending
 

spanky

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I've just had a long, hard look in the mirror...

Some joker put Viagra in my eye drops.
 

crackatoa

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I went to a porn stars reunion yesterday.
It was nice to come across some old faces again.
 

spanky

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What do you get a woman who has everything?

Antibiotics and a packet of condoms.
 

spanky

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My grandad committed suicide by eating all the piano keys...

He didn't leave a note
 

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