Spanky's thread

spanky

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My family said I'd never amount to anything, then I invented an invisibility cloak...

If only they could see me now!
 

spanky

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The worst part of being bitten by a poisonous spider is that you are probably Australian.
 

spanky

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I met a drunk ventriloquist who said she wanted to sleep with me.

I didn't know whether it was her or the beer talking.
 

spanky

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To the person who stole my glasses.

I will find you.

I have contacts.
 

spanky

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My late uncle made his fortune selling birdseed...

He died a Trillionaire.
 

spanky

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What goes "I'd do that, I'd do that, I'd do that..."?

A Welshman having difficulty sleeping
 

spanky

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I was in the Himalayas and I saw this big cow type thing with masses of wiry hair on a roundabout.

It was clearly unable to stand up when it got off.

The weird thing was it really turned me on.

I think it may have been an affro-dizzy-yak.
 

Scribe

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Definition of a cheese grater - A horror story for blind people
 

spanky

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I tied all of my spaghetti together whilst I was drunk last night...

I ended up skipping dinner
 

Scribe

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I used to be indecisive, but now I'm just not sure I am after all
 

muskrat

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My shrink said I definitely have a split personality. But I'm in two minds about it.
 
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