Following on from Scalpers thread:-

Dave Spence

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When do you first realise that you are knocking on a bit? I don't feel old and I can still do a full days graft without feeling too terrible the next morning. But a couple of years ago a colleague asked if I would be available to help him in one of his classes. The reason he wanted me in there was that it was a history lesson and they were covering the 1984 Miners strike and he said that, as I was there, it was a golden opportunity to bring in to his class a 'piece of living history'! That made me feel really ancient :cry:
 

Scalper

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I've found that a few lines of Cocaine a week, or sniffing a bag of evo-stick daily helps you deal with the onset of old age and everything else!!!!....

Look, we are all gonna die eventually so get a load of fishing done and let fate see you out quickly!!!

I hate being an old fart!!!!

I told off a group of kids last week for dropping litter and the response I got from them?????

F*ck off you old bas*ard!!!!..... :oops:

I was mortified and I had to go home for a little lie-down!!!!!!!!
 

Total

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@Scalper ......."......And then the MOT on my motor was out of date.....":oops::giggle:......Life's a *itch eh mate?:rolleyes:;)
 

Scalper

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Scalper used to full of life, but eventually, life decided that my having sh*te health would be funny!!!

The next time a canvasing vicar knocks on my door I'll give him a thick lip and tell him to pass it on to God!!!!

I would have never thought that being an old f*rt would finally come to me one day!!!!! (n)
 

Arry

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When I turned fifty and both my knees needed rebuilding... no-one tells you as soon as you got to 50 some bugger let's the handbrake off your health and you start rumbling downhill at an ever increasing pace till it's time for the wooden overcoat
 

Dave Spence

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When I turned fifty and both my knees needed rebuilding... no-one tells you as soon as you got to 50 some bugger let's the handbrake off your health and you start rumbling downhill at an ever increasing pace till it's time for the wooden overcoat
You certainly speak the truth Arry, have you also noticed that you start sprouting veritable forests from your Ears and Nose? A big give away though, is when every act of sitting or standing is followed by an aaarrrhhh! :cry:
 

juttle

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Getting old is a b***er! I used to work a minimum 12 hour day dragging a truck all through Eastern Europe and bits of the Middle East, coming home about 4 times a year. It was party time when I did get home, basically a 3 day pee up! Now, I can’t walk across the road without the aid of crutches, no more party time as my only regular drink is oramorph. Still, the next birthday is 70 and I’m still getting on the bank, albeit with a considerable degree of whinging and at the speed of a striking snail!
 

banksy

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When I received my first old age pension payment.
I just thought "They've made a mistake, I CAN'T be that old, can I, in five years' time I'll be 70! How did that happen?

"The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labor and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away."

Nah, I'm still a kid in my head, especially when I'm fishing.
And I hope that wonder and joy will continue as long as possible.
 

160642fishing

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I went to see my doc as I was having sharp pains in my left knee he said "not a lot we can do Tom,it's a symptom of old age",I said "bugger off,the right ones the same age and that ones OK",I get on very well with my doctor,we spend more time talking about football than my aches and pains.
 

The Landlord

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I turned 60 last month.
A week later, a bowel cancer testing kit arrived in the post. Apparently this is standard these days, once you reach 60. Happy bloody birthday!!
 

Arry

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You certainly speak the truth Arry, have you also noticed that you start sprouting veritable forests from your Ears and Nose? A big give away though, is when every act of sitting or standing is followed by an aaarrrhhh! :cry:
And on a visit to the loo for a pee and you are greeted with a streak of grey pubes that, In a certain light, make yer old chap look like Stewart Granger in profile....:unsure::eek:
 

dry nets

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I tripped up the other day. As I’m getting up I hear my daughter shouting to my wife “mum, dads had a fall”
wtf I’m only 48 and I tripped up.
So when does a trip become a fall , just so I know.
 
D

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I turned 60 last month.
A week later, a bowel cancer testing kit arrived in the post. Apparently this is standard these days, once you reach 60. Happy bloody birthday!!
Surely there’s been some mistake? I had you down for 42?!!!!
 
D

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Your age is just a collection of numbers after your name. Dont worry about it I say. We should all take a leaf out of Deleted Member's book. He is a possitive, can do sort of person. You cant let lifes #### get in your way. Think positive Scalper my mate. 👍
There’s a saying in poker ‘play the hand they deal you’.

Any fool can play a great hand, just as any fool can play a bad hand badly, but the great poker players are the ones who can play the average hands well.
 

muskrat

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Old? - Maybe. That's subjective.

Fart? - Definitely, and proud of it! :)
 
D

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Are you just after a few free beers mate?:p:p:p
He might look younger than his years but he’s not wet behind the ears I can tell you. He’s positioned his pub just beyond my dog walking range!
 

Dave Spence

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He might look younger than his years but he’s not wet behind the ears I can tell you. He’s positioned his pub just beyond my dog walking range!
He is just being anti social mate:p I think Dave should offer free membership for Landlords and in return they could give Md'rs free beer:beer-toast1:
 

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