| Hemp + Tired angler + Angling Times = ? |
| Trevski | Okay, I'll set the scene. 5:00am - Stumble out of bed and punch alarm. get dressed and stagger downstairs, cursing, but safe in the knowledge that the tacke is packed up and ready to go and all I have to do is boil the hemp that I left soaking from yesterday. 5:30am Hemp goes into the pan with the water covering it by about half an inch and the stove put on at about a third heat to simmer it nicely. Hemp begins to simmer, loverly. Sit down and start to read Angling times. Wake to hear Wife screaming downstairs, "WHAT IS THAT SMELL? AND WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?" Sniff, Glance at clock. 8:15am NOOOOO!!! The smell is appalling in the front room, dash to the kitchen, open the door and.... Greeted with a solid wall of thick brown smoke I cover my mouth and venture in, I grab the pan and run outside with it, hearing a sizzling sound a few times as I go. Its now that I realise my two mistakes. 1. Didn't open kitchen window. 2. Left hemp simmering and fell asleep. I look down at the pan and notice its dropping out of the bottom of the pan onto the lawn below. How? Yes, the pan has melted! I back to the kitchen through the conservatory and see what the sizzling sound was.. Molten pan metal dripping onto the floor leaving horrible burn marks. NOOO!!! I'm dead. I venture into the kitchen and nearly slip flat on my face. I look down, the floor is covered with a thick brown sludge, I look up. NOOOOOOOOooooooOOO!! everything is covered in it. I open the cupboards, tins of food, cups, pans, EVERYTHING is covered. I did no fishing that day. I cleaned the kitchen from 8:30am til 11:00pm. I used 3 bottles of Flash and 2 bottles of Frebreeze. It still stinks. The whole house stinks. My father-inlaw calls round and tells my wife that it will probably take at least a MONTH for the smell to ease and probably THREE to go completely. He should know he used to be a fireman. If you have read my tale, take heed. NEVER READ THE ANGLING TIMES WHILST BOILING HEMP!! ps. The worst thing? What was I cursing my luck about all day? I didn't get to go fishing.  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  If only it were this simple... |
| Dave | Excellent Trevski, reading that has made my day  Things can only get better, lol Dave |
| MALC | Brilliant Trevski  Malc Fish with Friends @ MaggotDrowning.com  |
| AlanP | Nice one Trevski, I suggest all of us with partners who pass adverse comments when we boil hemp etc. in "their" kitchen should print this out and have it handy for the next time when we can show it to them and say "well it could be a lot worse..." In my house at least that would be an appropriate time to make a hasty exit  PS - Probably wasn't just your Fishing Tackle that didn't see any action that day I would have thought  AlanP Edited by - AlanP on 16 September 2002 11:31:41 AM |
| Trevski | Glad you enjoyed it!! May as well spread a little happiness through my own misfortune (blind stupidity more like!)  Anyway, If you're reading this Mr John Wilson i'm blaming you for this completely ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If only it were this simple... |
| Ziptrev | I am developing a new theory, that everyone with the letters T R E and V cosecutively in their names, has an innate propensity for disaster! Nice one Trevski and welcome to the 'Cock-up' club Cheers Trev Ziptrev Enough! I'm off! |
| Steve | Sorry Trevski but that is one of the funniest things I have heard in a long time. Even my wife had a giggle. |
| norm | nice one trevski i have stunk the house out a few times (boiling hemp) but never had enything as bad as that happen made me laugh tho see yas later norm |
| toma | Trevski, Trevski  , you have just made my day mate. RAFLMAO  i'm going to bait up Andy |
| AndyA | Nice one... that beats my Maggots loose in the fridge .. |
| martin. | GOOD ONE LOL Just goes to show how Mr Wilson can send anyone to sleep tight lines. martin. talk fishing f**k football |
| Trevski | Thanks folks! I'm glad i've brightened your day I'll expect you all to take the p**s royal at the fish-in.  heh. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If only it were this simple... |